muSHANG きつね

botak sudah..uhuk..

2011-08-30T03:19:00.000-07:00

p/s : jgn pijak rumput area lot1o...nnti dikejar pak guard haha....

cik lappy baru :]

2011-08-24T02:13:00.000-07:00

dunia baru, lappy baru, semangat BARU~~

hari ni cuti.hari cuti adalah hari berehat-rehat..
walaupun tempat kerja sama,time kerja pun lebih kurang sama,..
tapi masing2 tade mase nak berrelax2...
sebab,
masing2 asek bertekak pasal kerja.so, bila bercuti ni, tade la nak sebut2 pasal kerja ye.hee~
bila cuti hari ni,
minggu lepas lagi dah plan nak buat ape time cuti wat aggmnt kerja kunun2 haha..
, misi hari ni,BELI LAPPY....online..lebih murah...pantas..senang..tut tut da sampai hee...
pc lama, da ke..aka lappy da jahanam.lepas tu pakai lappy kwn,sekarang beli lappy baru~

p/s : time tok jln2 dlm cik lappy asus... :]

tiada cuti raya...sob sob :,[''

2011-08-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

tak lama lagi hari nak sambut raya n berakahir Ramadhan kan...
tidak lama lagi mo raya neh..hati riang2 sudah hoho~~
sayu, sebak bila pikirkan Ramadhan tahun ni....uh..dok jauh lagi..uda homesick..
langsung tiada cuti untuk sebulan ni... sob sob...naseb bek da outing rito..
tiap2 hari buka puasa teringgat cik lappy ( curik2 bukak tenet di berek malam ari hee~~), sambil menaip keyboard, kiwi kasot kasi kilat2. :((
sedihnya saya..uhuk...

bertambah sedih bila pikirkan Aidilfitri.
beraya seorang diri..kunun2, dan di penjara neh. sedih bukan???? :((
besarnya dugaan tahun ini...besa jua..la neh.. hukhuk...

tadi mengadu kat sifu "i sedih... nk puasa n bbuka ngan famli wlpn skali..lama xketemu mereka neh ... raya sorang2 la kn pasni...."
then my boss ckp, "Jangan sedih mangkuk..dah tugas kena ada kat sini maaaa.. biar komandan teman u puasa and raya yee.... Jangan sedih2...hhahaha" *cis nak kena pok jer..
sorang lagi menjawab, "Jangan habaq cm tu. meh ikut aku balik alor staq nnt naaaaa..."
huhu. thanks all for cheer me up....harapan palsu neh...uhuk

thanks jugak my mum sbb ckp "tahun ni semua sorg2.. tahun depan kita semua lagi kumpul serata pelusok msia..langsung tak jadi nak emo haha. heheheh

eh..cam lebih2 pulak..huhu...

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan semua.
semua Ramadhan kali ini penuh makna...
Salam Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin ..

p/s: lagu tok semua..with love from pulapol~~

outing

2011-08-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

atoi!!!
ape dah jadi dengan blog neh..uh...asek hilang-hilang paswod..
wat julung-julung kalinya si komandan lepaskan para banduan untuk berfoya2..maceh komandan...(ceh!) last-last sama jer uhuk..

punya la lama tak update...
last entri emm..boleh tengok sendiri la apa yang tulis kan...merepek hoho..
hari raya mo dekat xda coti lak uh.....
aduh... memang lama dah blog ni tak update tenet kunun2 hee :p..
apa yang buat selama ni adalah sibuk kena penjara la neh...
kat entri ni pun dah tak tau nak tulis apa....
so sebab dah lama sangat tak update blog ni saja la nk memenuhkan ruang blog ni kan.

Ilmu pasal blogging ni pun dah hampir hilang semuanya dek gara² serve the country cewah.gto. byk menda dah blaja... apa yang telah study? lupa2 mo relaxing time..
malas nk dinyatakn disini...
rasa nak stop dulu la blog tu dan ingin memfokuskan diri balik dalam dunia law ni ahee...

cuba walaupun dalam hati ni memberontak nak main-main jer....
topik untuk ditulis dalam blog ni juga aku dah tak tau nak tulis ape...hoho lama aihh..
mungkin lepas ni blog akan di isi dengan perkara² yang entah pape je kot....
asalkan dah berupdate dah la yer..
tak pandai dah aku nak menulis entri yang best² lagi(best ke hahaha)

sekian dari bkt bintang, majulah blogger untuk blogging. Thank you very much!

dont take it personal

2011-04-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

it's done perhaps...
it's been done for a few days now...
how did it end?

if i recall correctly it was me realizing your immaturity..
and you not willing to put me before your friends,
not even for the little things...
after that,
you thought you would get your revenge by claiming you liked someone else,
some dumb you barely even knew who i knew would never like you back...

well your plan worked...
it broke my heart...
even though i had wanted to end it,
knowing you liked he while..
we were still together killed me...
i was shattered into a million little pieces,
and thought there was nothing in the world that could put me back together....

but something did...
it was my new found self confidence...
when i realized i deserved so much better than you...
the pieces very slowly began to reassemble....
and then i began noticing...
that more and more friends would smile at me,
try to talk to me,
give me compliments...
that made the pieces come together more quickly....
the best part about it was...
i never needed to get revenge in order to become whole again....

hurting you wouldn't make me feel any better,
because i simply try didn't care anymore....
you broke my heart,
made me feel like shit,
and then did it again....
now all i see are those wasted years with you,
the time spent waiting for you to show you cared....

Di petik dari firman Allah dalam surah Al Baqarah,

” Ada sesuatu perkara yang kamu cintai tetapi itu membawa keburukan kepada kamu. Ada pula sesuatu perkara yang kamu benci tetapi sebaliknya ia membawa kebaikan kepada kamu. Sedarlah kamu tidak mengetahui, Allah-lah yang lebih mengetahui.” (curik dr fizah hehe... :p)

there are no lingering thoughts about us in my head,
about "what could have been"...
this isn't one of those stories where i realized i've always still loved you...
no. in fact,
i don't know if i ever loved you,
because now that i know what true love is,
i know what i felt when i was with you sure as hell wasn't this.

so in a sense my happiness is my sweet little revenge....

p/s : be good...suatu petang yg bosan tok nulis jua huwaa~~

s.p.a.c.e

2011-04-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

yes i do

2011-04-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

dari kiri cepat jalan

2011-04-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

p/s : mandi peloh hari-hari~~

home sweet home

2011-04-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

you know im a dreamer but my heart’s of gold i had to run away high so i wouldn’t come home low just when things went hight it doesn’t mean they were always wrong p/s : lega...tok balik kejap pon :]

long vacation

2011-02-28T06:47:00.000-08:00

when it's this good,
there's no saying no i want you so,
i'm ready to go..
take care,
buibui~~

hening

2011-02-26T01:19:00.000-08:00

Andaikan Kau Masih Ada

Berdiri Mendampingiku

Ku Ingin Kau Pun Tahu

Betapa Ku Menyayangimu

Andai Kan Ku Sanggup Untuk

Memutar Kembali Waktu

Tak Pernah Sekejap Pun

Ku Alihkan Engkau Dari Perhatianku

Selama Hidupku

Hanyalah Dirimu

Yang Sanggup

Menyinggahi Ruang Ruang Hidupku

p/s: post lirik neh lg hee..suka~~ :]

today is beautiful

2011-02-24T03:02:00.000-08:00

mengantuk...
mengantuk...
mengantuk~~

mrning!!!!!
rasa macam tak nak bangun dari katil je arini neh...
nak tidur puas-puas...
macam best je hari ni kan...hahahaha ntah
tak tahu nape nak rasa macam tu,
just rasa hari ni akan berjalan dengan baik.

baik ke???
tak tahu la...
nak start dari mana ah???

malasnya nak bangun awal2...
harimau kt uma da bising2 wahaha~~(sori ma huk2 :D)
tapi de banyak keje nak di buat...
tapi kena bangun gak coz banyak lagi kerja nak buat..
hari ni try pack barang fuh fuh besemangat2..awai nye hee..

sampai ke tengahari,
pergi kedai 2 kali sebab saya lupa nak beli apa hehehe...
jangan lah kena amnesia...
i'm still young...
asyik lupa je kebelakangan ni...

rumah sewa sebelah dah ada orang duduk..
aiye..pas ni tak leh wat sesuka hati,
tak leh buang sampah merata-rata hoho~~
tak leh menjerit-jerit...
tak leh karok kuat2..
tak leh nari2...
tak leh intai2 hahaha... :D

kerana kelakuan anda sedang diperhatikan...
hahaha just kidding..
i need privacy...
but still ok..

no meeting friends today...
all so busy with working and lessons ..
i was so busy looking for my stuff preparing for my big day hee~~
malasnya nak singgah blog sendiri...
malas nak menaip.. 2 3 hari ini,
tak habis-habis mencari sesuatu yang boleh dibaca..
sibuk mencari sesuatu yang baru dalam hidup...
sendiri tak tahu apa yang cari..

kadangkala ingin mendengar muzik..
yang mampu menarik keinginan untuk menari,
kadangkala mahu mendengar satu lagu sedih,
yang mampu buat diri sendiri yg tengah nyanyi :p

oh god... i'm late to watch my favourite drama..
thats ncis...i should stop on9 now...

lie for a reason

2011-02-22T08:17:00.001-08:00

you know there's not really much anyone can say...
i've heard all the typical things you would say to someone-

"it gets better",
"give it time",
"you deserve better" etc...

to be honest nothing helps...
even if it's happened to you,
we can't compare ourselves...
love between two people is different,

so heart break between two people is different...
how it feels to you is different...

it's been some time and my wound still feels fresh,
it still feels like i have a gaping hole in my chest...
i still think about that everyday, every minute, every second....
and the scary thing is i actually believe that i will never get over her...

her is and will always will be my part,
the one i fell so hard for i lost myself in the process...
and rotated my life around her..

but what i remember the most was the feeling,
that she was different than anyone i'd met before...
for awhile after that night we talked, got to know each other,

became more than friends,
but being young and so naive our 'relationship' wasn't real...
the next time we talked to each other would be at a friends party and from then on,

she was about to be everything to me...

i fell in love with her...
i didn't even know what love was but i think i figured it out,
that feeling took me awhile to name but i felt it...

we shared everything,
we shared the best parts of our teenage years,
and now being forced into adulthood we've changed...

she said he needs to figure out who she is and i'm stopping her.
i've blamed myself,
i still do...
i'm full of so much regret and guilt and it never goes away...
i still there,
we talk and im not going to lie and say we haven't had those nights before...

the sad thing is i still
remember her far away~~

although i know you're supposed to distance yourself to try to move on,
i can't..
i'm holding on to her with everything i have...
you can call me naive and too young but to me love doesn't have an age restriction...

p/s: ..............................

crime

2011-02-19T04:01:00.000-08:00

p/s: atoi! kering bulan neh mahai toi buku law, tebal2 lagi berat belaka leh wat bantal tido jua~ :/'

last day of the week

2011-02-19T01:11:00.002-08:00

eh lupa plak nak wish morning.....
morning, annyeong haseyo, zhao an... selamat pagi...
cepatnya masa berlalu..
rasa macam baru semalam melalui hari jumaat..
cepatnya masa berlalu, dah kembali kepada hari sabtu semula...

tak sangka kitaran untuk satu minggu begitu cepat..
masak dan buat kerjarumah secepat yang mungkin..
tak tahu nak kejar apa..harus prepare awal2..]
isnin harus ke mahkamah terus..
harap semua keja siap dalam sato hari ;]
tapi bila cepat siap, cepat lah relax...hehe bosan..

tak tahu nak buat apa..neves2 dup dup..ngee~~
.. internet buat giler!!! hari jumaat hari yang busy ke???
emmmmmm.............sakit hati...
tapi kembali normal untuk seketika lepas tu..
tengahari yang sekejap panas terik, sekejap mendung..
sekejap hujan renyai..
hanya obses mencari maklumat untuk assignment sampai lupa segala-galanya...hahaha
pukul 2.. comelnya alya...
muka dia bersih and putih... comel sangat..
tak habis-habis gelak dengan karenah dengan paksu dia becerita pasal alya... :]
boleh giler...,
pernah ketawa sampai hilang suara...hahaha lupa la...tentang apa..

...petang ni.. before nak p beli barang-barang,
karaoke dengan adik kat rumah..
abis sume lagu big bang..hipop & westlife belasah...hahaha
lagu samsons bez pe hoho....(semua org diam sepi2 hahaha ciss..)
gelak macam orang giler bila salah pitch.. salah lirik... tak boleh tahan...
tapi enjoy sangat...

hari ni ada macam2 perasaan.. gembira, sedih, geram... semua la..
nak citer ke??
tak payah la...hahaha
gembira sebab macam selalu, ada benda baru yang mengujakan...
ada perkara baru yang tahu..
ada music yang dengar...
sedih bila mengimbau cerita dengan satu melodi yang masih melekat di telinga..
wow hoho...
tak mahu tenggelam dalam kesedihan
tapi tak sanggup nak lepaskan sebuah lagu yang selalu mencuri perhatian hati..hikikiki :D
tak jemu, setiap kali pun mahu terus mendengar...

geram... aiya.. tak dapat tengok cerita kegemaran... hujan dah... nanti tv kena sambar petir..hehehe

dah lama kuarkan tension giler2 macam hari ni... ... tak boleh tidur... cepat-cepat tidur walaupun tak boleh tidur bila sekeliling sunyi sepi.. semua orang tidur awal...gud nite!!!!!

kredit pic: noki

itamputeh II

2011-02-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

p/s: skitomylou-spend time idly, loiter as in every afternoon they could be found hanging around the mall~~

lovely smile ♥

2011-02-12T01:09:00.000-08:00

p/s: such a lovely evening with bro & alya :]

agent gibbs

2011-02-11T22:42:00.000-08:00

hari ni berlalu dengan sempurna,
dan kadangkala membuat rasa nak pukul orang ngee~
entah dari mana nak start,
entah suka atau tidak hari ni ada dalam hidup neh..
ada perkara yang buat teruja,
ada perkara ang buat rasa sedih dan geram..
semuanya berjalan dengan baik mengikut landasan yang telah diteapkan
tapi dengan perasaan yang berbeza..

brilliant legacy hari ni ulangan, hahaha eun sung makin comel lak..
die dah jadi baik sikit. masa eun sung kena pindah woo hwan bengal..

ncis, malam ni punya citer..
hee, tak suke r dgn si micheal, hodoh gler..
tak suke yang ada jambang2 hee..
dinozo jeles, mse ending dinozzo tembak micheal,
pe jd minggu dpn...?
dionozzo kena tangkap ke? aiye.....
time for sleep petang hoho :D

end of the road

2011-02-10T02:34:00.000-08:00

imagine you'll appear out of nowhere...
i'll be sitting on a bus full of all my friends...
i imagine you will walk towards me...
and look at me with regret in your eyes...

i imagine i'll be surprised in the expected kind of way,
look back at you and shake my head because i'm tired...

tired of everything,
but mostly tired of being without you...
i imagine you'll simply say three sentences: I am sorry.
i can't live without you..

sewing time

2011-02-05T01:23:00.000-08:00

p/s: spend less time scrolling and more time sewing~~

24/7

2011-02-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

this is a kind of story....
and it’s not...
we met at north,
i had been with the activities im joined...

the first time i saw her with her friends,
i was startled...
she presence evoked a visceral reaction from me,
i felt like all the breath had been knocked out of me..
and the small voice of my heart said, “oh”...
she scared me,
i had spent the last years of my life shying away from trouble...
and any possibility of having a serious relationship to pour everything..
i had into my career...

i recognized immediately here was someone that could disrupt all that...
we spent the next days circling one another, having very little direct contact...
we never spoke directly and despite my being an extremely friendly,

i never reached out to her...
she made me uncomfortable,
and i didn’t like it.

soon,
we had our little bit citcat...
and after several hours,
i found myself standing next to her...
having had more than my share of smile and laughter,
i started a conversation with her...

we sat down and for the next few hours,
spoke only to one another ignoring the activities around us...
we talked of love, and how her wasn’t in it...
we spoke of our careers and our passion for creativity and beauty...

she complimented me,
i knew somehow that life had just changed...
an awkward fear came over me and i excused myself to leave...
she told me that she had waited her entire life...
to feel about someone the way she did about me...
that she had loved me from the first moment that she saw me..
and had avoided me because of her situation...

that what she felt for me was epic....
i said that we were lucky,
that we were met to have found one another...
because how many people in their lives get to live out their fairy tales?
i believed we were meant to be together cewah~~

but things didn’t last...
they were awkward...
her thought i was perfect when i’m not...
i had many things going on my life...
she had difficult things happening in her..
i acted out as he withdrew...
and after a couple particularly bad scenes i was at fault for, it was over...

i wanted to explain and explain until im tired so badly..
but she walked away too quickly for me to catch up...
her didn’t want to see me...
or talk to me...
she couldn’t...
i wrote, text a massage, drawed to her and i gave her space,
but she cut me off...
all without ever talking to me face to face...

i finally told her that i couldn’t believe im ever believed her...
that she was wrong,
that i couldn’t believe after the things she said would walk away without at least talking...
i apologized,
i humbled myself,
i cared more about being right and wanted to prove that...
but she wouldn’t budge...

her told me she had disengaged..
and that...
i had disappointed her too much...
i was heartbroken...and
i hated myself..
i blamed myself..
i couldn’t forgive myself.so..
i tried,
i fought,
i begged,
i pleaded and meanwhile,
i hurt myself because..
i didn’t know what else to do...

i could not bear my day to day...
i was desperate to crawl outside my own skin...
i felt like i was suffocating...
i had lost myself..in my desire for her, in my hatred for myself...
i couldn’t feel who i was at all anymore...
i went away to an island paradise for the holidays by myself..

all i could do was sorrow and sleep...
but then slowly,
i began to heal.
i surfed in the early mornings,
i can't forgive myself,

and remembered that i did need she to be happy..
that i deserved more than what she had offered,
and that life would always move forward..
i remembered how to breathe again...
and when i came back from my pride, i decided to change my life.
for me...
for the things that i wanted.

i crafted a five month plan that involved my current job and leaving the city..
i lived in to focus on career and my peace of mind...
i started putting things in motion, and the minute i did..
i was angry,
i was sad,
i tried to be understanding and gracious,
but she wouldn’t budge and slowly i realized,

that none of this mattered anymore...
because i knew that this would happen...
because the first time she told me things i believed, i was wrong.
could i really be surprised that this happened again..

how many more times would i believe
what i wanted to believe instead of believing..
what was real and right in front of me..
when would i stop compromising what i deserved for what i wanted...
when would i realize that being right, didn’t matter if the other person didn’t care..

if you love someone,
you stay by them...
there is no such things as a wrong time or a mistake that is too great...
love is just love...
any excuse to walk away from love offered is just that:
an excuse to explain you can’t and don’t feel the same way back towards the person that’s offering their love to you.

so this time,
i’ll let her walk away..

and this time, i’m walking away for good..
and this time, i’m truly looking towards the future and accepting that this chapter of my life,
whatever it was, is over...

i want to welcome what’s to come with a completely light..
and open heart because now i realize i’m finally letting go of what’s false in my life
to let in what will be true...

i finally realize that the most important person i could ever love, is myself..
and part of loving myself is recognizing...
that i deserve someone who doesn’t just say that they love me,
but actually really does.
and to give that person the chance,

i’ll weed out those who would fake it.
because we choose the lives we live and i choose truth and joy.
i choose love.
i guess this is a love story.
just a different kind of love.

p/s : can't believe still wroted this...terbiasa barangkali fuuu..
special moments and unforgettable times~~ :]

delima sweet

2011-01-29T03:03:00.000-08:00

p/s: second pic, cam mak nenek hoho~~ :D

manek chantek II

2011-01-29T01:36:00.000-08:00

p/s : weekend jobs earn extra money.. :]

endorphins

2011-01-28T02:15:00.000-08:00

beat my bad mindset...

badmood today~

beating a bad mood is not an easy feat...

but really the only person that i can you out of the bad mood is myrself!

but there's lots of things i can do to drag..

i out of the dark mood and into a more postive frame of mind..

penat sgt+stress eh..
nakk tidooo jar....

新少林寺预告

2011-01-25T04:33:00.001-08:00

Shaolin..sinopsis,

"tells the story of the famous monastery in China that is plunged into strife as feuding warlords try to expand their power by warring over neighboring lands. Fuelled by his success on the battlefield, young and arrogant warlord Hao Jie (Andy Lau) sneers at the Shaolin masters when he beats one of them in a duel. However, when he lost everything after a betrayal of his former second-in-command Cao Man (Nicholas Tse), Hao is forced to swallow his pride and take refuge with the monks. As the civil unrest spreads and more innocent people suffer, Hao and the Shaolin masters are forced to take a fiery stand against the evil warlords. Together they launch a daring plan of rescue and escape in order for justice to prevail and freedom to be achieved."

musti tonton..
The Shaolin battle begins 27 January 2011!

p/s : khamis neh half day lah hoho~~ :p

dear

2011-01-25T02:18:00.000-08:00

it’s been almost...

since her dropped the bomb on me...

the thing is,

it wasn’t even really a mess up to the blog..

at least not to longger...

don’t have to actually have a relationship to be mess up with..

for the most part i had a wonderful day with her i cant' forget..

despite her strange,

withdrawn behavior for most of it after the first meet..

yet, her told me he had just started cried, and it wasn’t serious,

and the reason her acted how her did wasn’t anything i had done...

frankly,

i wasn’t hearing all of it at that point...

i was in the closest thing to a state of shock i had been in my entire life...

to make a long story short,

after sending her an almost-too-long massage..

telling her i wish told..

her also proceeded to theorize this misunderstanding...

was based on our difference in age and experience....

we both said we were fine with being ok,

but after that..

when i was working abroad in kuching and her in peninsular...

i thought this would make getting meet her easier and quicker,

but the only thing it did was take away the ability to see what her was doing..

and who we was conversing with,

which was probably still beneficial for me...

one of the worst things you can do after a studied,

berate yourself for things you realize you could have done differently...

but this is precisely what i did...

i asked myself over and over,

“why weren’t you stronger?

truth be told,

i was that men at first.

i didn’t want to be the stereotypical person who thinks...

but her was the one who seemed to be coming on pretty strong

and acting like we were actually nothing at all..

but,

after it all ended and found out the truth,

i felt like such an idiot,

and a total outcast from the rest of society...

we seem to live in such a casual,

i don’t really understand the movement...

in the end,

i think the focus is more on the benefits than the future..

and to answer the question,

because when it all first happened,

my emotions were definitely in it...

and i gave her way more credit than i deserves..

i apologized for not having been more upfront that..

i thought we were headed towards a relationship,

however,

this not about me not being “strong” or “smart” enough...

think the fact that i cared about what her and i had,

and that i fell ...

is a sign of my gratitude...

it’s clearly more of a risk to let your heart get involved than to remain unattached,

but i rather be like that than close myself off..

and look at a person as only an object of lust..

i think in my situation..

p/s: seeking advice on swimming lessons~~ :]

criminal mind

2011-01-22T01:18:00.000-08:00

memang best eh...

tak tau bile orang kite boleh buat cite-cite bagus and berkualiti mcm ni...

cite die agak lain drpd ncis or other cite-cite kepolisian...

coz cite ni mengisahkan pasal 1 team khas dalam fbi,

behavioral analysis unit...

they will look for profiles of this pelaku-pelaku jenayah and match them dengan crimes punya modus..

team ni analyses ‘criminal mind’ and personality psychology...

rindu lak kuliah human behavior...dr sundramorthy..

sangat menarik..

and kite akan diajak berfikir sama...

so bkn utk fun semata-mata tp cite ni cite yang smart...

every plot ade suspens die..

dah bunyik mcm pengkritik filem pulak haha~~

kerana telah terbiasa

2011-01-21T02:37:00.000-08:00

this little love not has no image....
it was a text message...
one that woke me up this morning for the dream.....
it is beautiful perhaps....
it should be shared...
sometimes i just love the simplicity of love..
plan for you..
lets spend our lives together and age..
but never get old~~

cool

2011-01-19T02:27:00.000-08:00

pulang yuk

2011-01-19T02:16:00.000-08:00

udah diomelin sama boss...

disuruh pulang heheheeh...

emang baek2 banget boss disini...

jam 16:56pm aja udah diingetin untuk pulang....

masalahnya,

banyak tim kita yang pada sakit...

hihihih takut pada sakit semua kali yaaa. udah eh~~

cik ketam

2011-01-16T01:57:00.000-08:00

musim hujan lak..

pergi pasar malam kat rumah..

nampak ketam teringat nak masak lemak cili padi..

dah lama sangat tak buat....

ma sibuk manjang jer aihh..child abuse ni :D

maklumlah tak berapa makan pedas...

cili padi letak dua je hoho... :p

tapi disebabkan lidah ni lidah soft2 je heee......

sesekali tu jugak asingkan lauk pedas & xpedas ish2.......

ja-rum

2011-01-15T03:41:00.000-08:00

long & away

2011-01-15T02:47:00.000-08:00

all ways travel from langkawi...
the pain walks down a one way street...
i look above and i know i'll always be blessed..
chocolate...
i'm loving angels instead~~ :]

manek chantek

2011-01-13T04:11:00.000-08:00

field visit II

2011-01-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

farewell my friend

2011-01-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

i donot remember how our friendship developed..

but i am certain it had something to do with...

common passions can bring two people together..

and unite them in a unique, on-line friendship..

saying goodbye to a dear friend is never easy..

but,

sometimes,

it's the only right thing to do for them...

ncis

2011-01-08T04:32:00.000-08:00

sebenernya sih lagi males cerita ini itu panjang-panjang di blog...
cuma pengen berbagi kerja aja...
beberapa minggu ini..

as we know,
semua anak sekolah disibukkan sama liburan.
nah kalo malem-malem,
frustasi bingung harus ngapain...
akhirnya mentok-mentok ya nonton tb.
keseringan nonton CSI, Numbers, NCIS sama Bones...
membuat punya fantasi-fantasi yang kemungkinan besar sulit terwujud...

kebetulan waktu itu abis nonton NCIS yang Chimera.
nah waktu malemnya ga bisa tidur..
mimpi jadi bagian dari mereka wahaha..
dikejar-kejar, nembak, ditembak, hah pokoknya heboh :D
sampe ga bisa tidur semaleman...
nah bangun tidur baru berpikir,
ini kayaknya karna kebanyakan nonton film action deh.
sampe-sampe di perjalanan ke field besok paginya ketiduran.
my point is,

it's not good to be addicted to something. :p

lower the burden

2011-01-04T05:53:00.000-08:00

2011...

ketika kita melakukan sesuatu...

dengan sepenuh hati maka hasilnya tidak akan mengecewakan..

a new year..

a new beginning...

a fresh start and change..

our things most and many people say...

thing is when it comes around...

it’s just the same old thing,

just a different day in a different year,
it's the holidays...

the pain then was unbearable...

i guess you could say that it has now become bearable. ..

that doesn't mean that i don't think...

and wish that things could have been hmm...

i can no longer handle the 6000 mile difference...

nothing has changed...

after everything that i happened..

i still think about the way it was in the beginning....

and even though it's moving on..

this doesn't mean that i won't still be here...

once the circumstances have changed

and the stars are finally aligned properly...

know that i think about what its happened...

741 miles

2011-01-03T05:15:00.000-08:00

saat ada seorang teman yang diberi julukan “perhitungan”,

maka saya pun sedikit terpengaruh...

otak pun mencatatnya “minus”...

atau saat ada orang yang terlihat “garang”,

maka memori pun terpahat tentang orang tersebut...

ketemu seseorang yang terlihat sombong..

membuat saya sedikit menarik diri...

Rasulullah menganjurkan kita untuk memilih teman :

“Bila berteman dengan seorang pandai besi..

maka kita akan ikut terbakar..

bila kita berteman dengan seorang penjual minyak wangi..

maka kita pun akan tertular dengan keharumannya.."

p/s: at kuching airport in the morning,

with cik nad aka chuby wahaha~~ :D

life is a journey

2011-01-01T03:24:00.000-08:00

i'm writing...
which may or may not mean anything at all...
but honestly that is beside the point...
writing this is more for my sake,
and pretty much has less to do with receiving it and more about me writing it..
you see i am a not good at not dealing with things...

i'm sure any could see that,
i'm not fooling anyone so i'm not going to fool myself...
i push all the hurts and the scars..
and the less than lovely things into deep recesses in my mind to forget about...
that is until something small and insignificant arises that reminds me..
of whatever it is tucked away into those neat little boxes in my mind..

turning me into a complete mess once again...
i can never move forward because of this...
once said wanted to see me fly...
in order to do that i have to deal with all the damn that's weighing me down..
and keeping my feet from leaving the ground..
i have the chance to be with someone good...

someone who is genuine..
and has the time and patience to deal with a person like me...
someone who i believe i can open up to...
and not use whatever i say against me...
i've realized that i need to learn to love the things that are good for me,
and her might very well be one of those things...

so in order to not mess up this beautiful opportunity for happiness,
i need to deal with us...
here i go...
i do not know why i feel attached to you...
it's not like we were together very long...
and it's not like we were even together....
maybe it was the first meet with you..
perhaps it was riding on a motorcycle for the first time...
or walking through the darkness to the waterfall...
or scooping me up in your arms and that first talked..
or maybe, just maybe..
it was the fact that i did not feel afraid at all with of...
you spent that whole day with me...

and in the weeks to come i would memorize the sound of you breathing...
don’t give a damn bout your foolness and impossible dream..
makes me laugh everytime so much with you...

mainly because i knew that's not what you said...
it was probably just gibberish,
but it made me wonder if perhaps i would want you to tell me those words in the future...
i never thought that we would top that first date...
and for a while we didn't come close...

but that doesn't really matter.
and all i can do is accept that...
is to be able to look back on everything objectively...
and remember the things i learned about myself...
and the things i learned about people...
and life without feeling the pain that goes a long with these kinds of things...

so finally,
this is me moving on..acece.. :p
this is me wishing well in whatever you pursue...
this is me wishing joy and happiness~~

end of 2010

2010-12-31T05:45:00.000-08:00

the last diary page for 2010..
melalui postingan ini..
pribadi mengucapkan happy new year 2011!
i hope in this new year we can get everything we want...
our wishes will come true..
and in new year 2011 will be better than 2010!
amiiin!!!

juga ingin minta maaf...
kalau selama tahun 2010..
punya banyaak kesalahan hee..cam raya la pulak..
kepada beberapa orang yang tidak bisa disebutkan semuanya...
mohon maaf ya :)
dan terima kasih atas satu tahun yang menyenangkan!
harap tahun baru 2011 ini bakal sama menyenangkannya kayak 2010 :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!!

T_T

2010-12-27T02:34:00.000-08:00

p/s: no more words~~

120/80

2010-12-23T02:29:00.000-08:00

got my result today...
am sooooo happy..staying healthy...
masa tok men2 hee.. :]

wlpn salah hari tok pegi check ...ingat harini jumaat 11pm da out slumber.. wahaha sengal~~
btw sentuh sikit doc advice (suka meng iya kn je kata2 doc hoho)...
emptiness is a mode of perception...
a way of looking at experience...
it adds nothing to and takes nothing away from the raw data of physical and mental events...

fatigue and stress..
poor nutritional habits...
and health concerns can contribute to feelings of emptiness...
an exercise..bla bla bla cukup2...
penat aih... T_T

klik klik

2010-12-20T01:42:00.001-08:00

cik jantong nari2

2010-12-18T01:14:00.000-08:00

...dup dap dup dap..
today wat testing2..cek2 rock2..

doc said:
tekanan darah dinilai dalam dua hal...
sebuah tekanan tinggi sistolik yang...
menandakan kontraksi maksimal jantung....
dan tekanan rendah diastolik atau...
tekanan istirahat...
pemeriksaan tekanan bla.. bla..bla...

p/s: owh ye owh ye upenye....(huwaa..pura2 faham...@_@)

field visit

2010-12-17T02:11:00.000-08:00

p/s: cik mmooooo.. sgt sumbung uh!

enjoy sunset

2010-12-15T06:53:00.000-08:00

dalam hidup kadang kita terjebak dalam rutinitas yang menjemukan...
tiap hari hanya dari ito ke ito saja..
bangun tido kuterus mandi...
berangkat ofis..
pulang malem lalu tidur lagi....arini idak sempat men2 huk2..
kedai pon idak dibuka rini tsstt..
pekerja ito malas agaknya uh..byk alasan..
..bebel lagi ma pasni aih..
customer pasti bengang lari mungkin ..sengal sungguh..

rindu menjadi student...yang lebih aman hakeke~~~
p/s: it's more important to relax in work than anywhere else.. penat!!!! ya gitu deh~~

meminang d300s

2010-12-13T03:03:00.000-08:00

setelah lama menimbang dan menabung...
setelah camera di pow oleh ma T_T
mungkin ingin putuskan untuk meminang nikon d300s dengan lensa kit 18-55 VR..
dengan harga mahar ya akan dibeli saja daripada nggak bisa tido :D

sebelumnya membandingkan nikon D3000 dan canon EOS1000D..
overall kedua kamera entry level ini sudah mencukupi (hanya hobi).
arus berjimat lur neh~~

whats cooking

2010-12-12T04:49:00.000-08:00

neh makanan kesukaan dirumah :D
kalo sudah masak kari ayam pasti lahap dan ngabisin nasi...

hari neh sorang2 lagi selama seminggu..
ma pergi holiday kl..tsstt..(jelez..)
kalo idak da urusan da ikot neh huk2..
skang kena masak sendri2..
ya..bosan bener..
sampai kari pon mo snap! hee..

masak kari ayam menu hari neh...
(beli yg frozen tinggal nak gorengan)..
dan sayur pak choy tumis bawang putih...

memandangkan bahannya penumis serta daun kari kehabisan stok....(malas nak kua lagi hee~)
masak kari ayam yang paling simple tanpa bahan-bahan tersebot...
kari ayam merupakan kegemaran sejak kecik lg..
sebelum melalut ntah apa-apa ntah......
...makan time~~

beat my bad mindset

2010-12-11T03:59:00.000-08:00

lo tau gak bulan december all messup..
BADMOOD yak, penyakit yang paling benci BADMOOD...
im in a bad mood or just unhappy or idak sehat..
have no energy in the morning or
even during the day are really lost souls...
huwa...

boss...sayer p outstation sat.. :p

2010-12-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

arrr....arrr....
di suatu petang...
telah menonton crita skyline..
filem neh filem sains fiksyen..
pasai alien yang nak takhluk bumi..
crita ini agak bez n punya sc-fi sangat baik....
ending dia pon..
owhh..
tergantung lah..
boring..boring...
cuma keja je boring..carik n ambik ilham di cinema~~ :p

we roll the bowl..sometimes we throw :p

2010-12-07T06:56:00.001-08:00

p/s: xpandai sgt men bowling aihh ngee~~ but its realy fun!!!

love hiking in the woods II

2010-12-06T07:51:00.001-08:00

then there is always the adventure...
that keeps me coming back for more....
the simple knowledge that these great places...
can only be seen by foot....
i enjoy the challenge of getting to a certain place..
by my own means....
it is worth every step...

every ouch..
bug bite and any other discomfort along the way....
just to know that they will soon be forgotten..
with the first aah or wow (view)....

i hike for the views...
the ones that can sometimes take your breath away...
such as eating lunch on the side of the mountain...

you can never get these great views from the concrete jungle most of us call home...
the only way to experience this perfect feeling of awe and aah is to hike it...
furthermore..
i love listening to and hopefully seeing the many animals (or signs of them)
and creatures of the forest....
i am thankful to them for sharing their homes with me...
i love that someday..

hopefully..
we will see a bear...
i love the flowers and the trees that surround me....
i love the way being out there makes me feel...
refreshed relaxed and carefree....
i love the smell of the woods...

sound of the crunch from leaves as you walk...
the sounds of the animal and the overwhelming feeling that i have when all of my senses are being enlightened....
one of the most important reasons i love to be outdoors is that i love to share these experiences.. with the people my family and friends..
because of sharing these experiences we all grow closer and individually....

i love the outdoors..
it goes beyond words...
it's the feelings and the views and the enjoyment of spending time...
with the people that i love and sharing these experiences with them...
the bear went over the mountain...
but as long as my feet will take me there...
i intend to keep going up those mountains and around every possible bend to see...

p/s: not all who wander are lost...

love hiking in the woods

2010-12-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

where ever i go i love to backpacks with my huge travel backpacks...
in an article i was reading the author was asked why he backpacks..
so i thought i needed to answer this question for myself....

my family has asked me this very same question....
some of them think i am crazy...
(and the rest of them know i am)...
they just don't understand why.....
why i enjoy carrying so much weight on my back and sleeping in a tent and walking for miles.....
sometimes in not the best of weather to do such.....

so, i thought for a second and the answer didn't come that easily....
so i thought some more and some more and came up with my response....
for one thing...
i love the outdoors....
anything outdoors....
i am even looking forward to our upcoming raft ride....
no schedules to keep..
no timetable as it is in our concrete jungle...
i can explore at my own pace...
without any particular schedule...
no deadlines..
no phones..
no worries..
hike my own hike..
be carefree....

my curiosity makes me need and want to see...
what is around the next bend or up the next hill...
and it doesn't matter how many times i do...
the same hike every time it is different..
the same things won't be around the same bend each and every time..
sometimes the bend is even in a different spot..

also...
i like the knowledge that i know i can survive...
with everything on my back and that material possessions...
don't mean a whole lot out there...
and really the only thing that matters is the experiences
i bring with me and the experiences i take home with me....

p/s: official holiday islamic new year 1 Muharam 1432H

return to kuching

2010-12-06T03:27:00.000-08:00

mun kitak orang perasan nak,
mun selalu rah tv ngga cerita-cerita melayu biasa nya ada dialog kedak tok...

mekcik..
seye deh depet keje sekereng.
iyeke..
begus le..keje ket mene..?
seye depet keje ket kelumpo.
iye ke..
jeuh tue..
benyek le geji kemu ye....
jengen lupe inget-inget juge ket mekcik ye..
iye le..
tekken seye lupe ket mekcik....

knak mst kolumpo....
mun cerita ya latar belakang rah perlis..,
mesti dapat keja...,
or bekerja rah kolumpo....
maka peneng ada bah dekat gik....

k lah ya jak..
..masok ofis~~

atoi

2010-12-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

ouchh..
what a bad feelling to start a day..
sok mo keja aihh..

i'm not feeling well n with a stiff shoulder, nothing much i can do..
except staying home n rest. ...(tipoo sungguh...ngee~~)
i have to cancel few appointments wit doc..
cant force me-self anymore..
or thing mite get worse...

encek frly arus kuat neh huk2..
went to see doc yesterday...she gave me some pain killer n knowing me best ngee~,
she made me promise that i'll stay home, rest n sleep. wahahaha...

so... i swiched off the handphone (tipo lg.. :p ),..
with a music as a background...
n have a nice sleep. ZZZZZzzzz....

sleeping beuties

2010-12-04T00:46:00.000-08:00

what can I do...
is this normal whenever something unpleasant happens or i become depressed or even anxious..
i want to go to sleep all day long!!!
i am sleepy all day..

my thinking is muddled and my memory is horrid..
i feel that Ii am a drag to be around...
i don't fall asleep before midnight....
ever. usually i lay there for hours, thinking...i try to

my mind but i can't...
i try to focus on my breathing,
but i can do that for hours, it bores me, and it doesn't make me fall asleep...
i try to consciously ...

i sleep in darkness and silence....
i've tried everything non-drug...
i do all thing daylight at the midnight aihh~~

pening lalat

2010-12-03T02:16:00.000-08:00

went to the doc's office and blood pressure was high... im only 22 :p hekeke....
everything i have read so far says the earlier you get pre-eclamsia the worst....
should i be worried?
is it something ive done? huk2... T_T

hopez..dont worry because that just stresses out and makes things worse....
it happens to some people and some people react to being of kind...
i wouldnt stress about it...
just rest and do what the doctor says and enjoy the days~~ yoshh~~

must..just take it easy..
meditate, mellow out, don't over do and get lots of sleep....
avoid salt and drink lot of water so im flush out the system said the doc....
it will all help to regulate mine bp naturally...
im isn't so high that some behaviour changes couldn't bring me back to normal for the big day...
just do what the doctor says..remind myself huk2...

p/s: cik mesi....cik mesi...tlg cek2 ati syer gak hikiki~~ :D

where my letter

2010-12-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

this week..
week of denial...
i couldn't agree more....

because i realized..

that's what i did this last week...

the feeling came out... againnn....

as we expect it...

at first, is not hurt that much.....

just waiting for the letter fix it and send over again that all..its take...

i'm bit sorrow and then i'm over it...hurt is over...

but feeling stay the same...

it came to me,

just like that.

i act like it didn't happen...

i'm pretending that it does not exist....
menyibukkan diri dengan tugasan,

rapat, tugas, tugas, dan maen2...

mencoba mengisi pikiran dengan apa aja kejaan harus lakukan, sekecil apapun....

i act like nothing happended....

nothing. and i'm just fine. but we know that its not true...
and finally, i let it out. everything. i wallowed all day....

its almost the end of the day, and i'm not feeling better. a little, but not all...

berusaha melupakannya dengan menonton dvd....

berkeping-keping. tapi itu ga berhasil juga...

tomorrow i'm gonna wake up early in the morning and make up my room... i promise!
if i can't make this feeling go away, at least i can do is distraction....

esoknye jumaat last pasti apa lagi hurm..

munkin saat ini pelu ketawa apa nanges... saja wahahaha....... T_T

naseb bek

2010-12-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

semalem..semalem..ma garanknya suda.. mo buang semuaa komek yg ada lo..
sebab bsepah wahaha~~

rini capek lor..kemas buat kejaan sampei malem2......
tak jemu membaca lagi komik neh ulang2...
dari dulunya skang jugak kind of ketagih dengan komik terbitan gempak starz asalannya komik Jepun ( kreko tetap jugak di hati =] ) terjemahan dalam bm....

koleksi simpanan kian mencecah bla bla..sampai dimarahi.. bebel huk3 T_T.....
kata ma macam kanak2, useless-and waste time-komik wahaha~~...

pengaruh besar start baca benda neh datangnya dari teman time skul and u kot.....
penah layari kat internet..semu2 online manga to...
onemanga, foxmanga., mangaanimea,

sebab tak lengkap, internet slow and nak simpan jadi koleksi,

beli kat luar ja siri hot gimmick yg terakhir...
everytime dapat duit belanja (kadang2 pow parent tok beli hoho~~)

RM50 so nak pecah jadi duit kecil, menapak pergi 7-Eleven,

dan kat situlah spend RM6.50 utk buku neh....skunk ekonomi da meleset huk2...
kadang-kadang beli sebuah, paling terok beli 2 buah sekaligus...

walaweh.. tak sedar pon ada banyak ni novel grafik dari gempak starz ni..

yang paling suka lawak kampus r..

mat gempak pun best gak.. pokoknya..

semua best lah..

wahahaa...(gelak slow2..ma stil bengang @_@ )

nite nite II

2010-12-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

once youre asleep..

pengen begadang nih ah..

mo cuci baju dulu sambil dengerin musik dari hape kesayangan..

trus nggambar kalo ada keinginannya..

trus apa lah terserah nanti..

pokonya begitulah..

kalo ngopi ya tinggal ambil kopi...

mm..

kalo nyetrika besok lagi aja deh sekarang mah...

ngga mau nyetrika cape banget kalo nyetrika..

(keja yg dpaksa ole ma waa..banyak sehh)..

besok aja malemnya tapi ngga malem2 amat deh..

i dont know what are you thinking that time..

liat aja nanti..

hmm..

udah brapa bulan yah ngga begadang ampe pagi..

molor sejam 3 pagi....

malasan

2010-11-29T10:07:00.000-08:00

wah.. wah....
makan di kamar ternyata sisa2 bau2an gorengnnya banyak..hoho~~ :p
tadi ito goreng2 ikan yang kurang enak rasanya.. dan ciken naget dan fries..
waduh.. payah nih harus ada airwick..

hmm..

sekarang pengen mandi dulu deh cepat tidur..
kalo bisa sebelum jam 21 sudah di atas tempat tidur..
entah setelah itu mau ngapain..
hei2..

selamat malam saja deh..
kalo bisa tidur cepat ya syukur.. kalo ngga bisa cepat tidur ya palingan bangun.. men tenet lagi aih..
ngapain kek..
nongton tb di depan apa makan apa gitu lah..

hmm..
ya sudah deh..

selamat malam.. :]

alya gumok

2010-11-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

itamputeh

2010-11-28T04:20:00.000-08:00

life is something wonderful, so they say.....

and i've trusted them, until right now....

how come i haven't experienced what everyone's talking about?

"it comes when it comes," my very-much-in-love-friend said with a smile...

"I didn't search for it, it came to me." ...

she flashed another smile....

those two sentences felt like a knife through my chest....

so, i'm just supposed to wait..

i don't want to wait no more eh...

i've been waiting and searching for almost long years~~meaning of life~~

i want to be able to feel..

touch and taste the heart that is supposed to be out there...

because that, that is what i've answered when people ask what i think life is all about....

but now i don't know anymore....

because i can't keep hoping appear forever....

because then i will die without having to experience life...

since the whole meaning with life is just that- love...

it hurts for me to realise that love is all around me but somehow...

i'm not even allowed to have a tiny, small piece....

should i...

crafts for eid

2010-11-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

p/s: no words to describe it... friendship! so beautiful. i had no idea ... :]

3rd nov 2010

2010-11-23T09:57:00.000-08:00

p/s: pengalaman banjir besa bulan lepas, dapat juga rasai tengok bah di perliz.....selama ni dok denga je...nightmare sungguh~~

request tag

2010-11-23T00:46:00.000-08:00

wow hoho..
dulo2 penah bpe kali dpt..
maleh wat (bosan skang wat jer)..kali neh dak momok garank mara suda lalala~~
ditag2 oleh cik nad umo 23 (sama umo :p) dok penang, hobi men jahit2..skang munkin sedang tito :D hik2~~

1. Apa benda yang paling penting dalam hidup korang?
>♥♥♥♥♥♥..dwet dwet dwet hei2----->dptkn belon leh seminnggu skali g malaya p kch :p

2. Benda terakhir yang korang beli menggunakan duit korang sendiri?
>setin coke n kopok twities sambil tep2 benda neh huwa~~

3. Di manakah tempat korang ingin melangsungkan perkahwinan korang dan tema perkahwinan korang nanti?
>tssstt..soalan jenis apakah neh...time kawen kak wat otel, big bro wat otel, hei2..apakah otel gak :p (xkesah pon)...wat tema tepi pantai tropical fuhhfuhh meletops u..ngeh2 (^__^)

4. Adakah korang sedang bercinta sekarang?
>tsssstt tsssttt...uh..mama melarang bchenta! lalalala~~

5. Berapa lama korang akan mencintai kekasih korang?
>ofcoz...4ver lor until the last breath, kalo ya bener ito payah kok mo lupain..kdng2 men cket2 ja lor, ahak! (sambil dgr lagu tema neh kerispatih hehehe~)

6. Di manakah korang selalu berjumpa kekasih korang?
> erk erk...arrrr....pantai~~ leh posing maut....leh klik2..wahaha...

7. Novel / buku / majalah terakhir yang korang beli?
>beli neh magzne kreko...kreko..kreko....keroro keroro nari2~~ =p

8. Apakah nama penuh korang?
>ish.....frly sudahhhh

9. Antara mak dan ayah korang, yang mana korang lebih mesra?
>mum queen of my heart...ayah cm askar nipon garank hukhuk...♥♥♥♥ miss them!!!

10. Namakan orang yang korang betul betul nak jumpa dalam hidup korang?
>cesss..soalan susah dr final exam..hurmm....(hei! encek frly arus jujur oke!) arr arr..

11. Adakah korang basuh baju korang sendiri?
>ofcoz.. campak2..tekan2 tit tit...pusing2 lg cik mesin basuh..berusaha2.. :p

12. Di manakah tempat yang korang betul betul nak pergi?
>island of the gods...bali bali bali...limau bali..

13. Pilih salah satu, peluk atau cium?
>salunye kombinasi serentak eh...pilih cium lah..........hei hei fikir apa....cium tangan pp parents n siblings ♥♥♥ =p

14. Beritahu 3 benda tentang orang yang tag korang?
>my budies nad--->masi skul d uum hik2..dislike milk, luv handmade arts...

15. 5 benda yang korang sangat sayang dalam hidup korang?
>hanpon..camera...sweater..album2 diari hoho...gelang tangan♥~~

16. 3 lagu yang paling korang suka dan selalu dengar?
>ehhh....hening, to where you are, risalah hati ♥

17. Bila tarikh lahir korang dan kat mana korang sambut tahun lepas?
>march 26...happy ending ngn makan kt lua jer....perliz~~

18. 7 orang blogger yang korang nak tag?
cik fizah :: cik mamai :: cik ct sara :: cik nor :: cik faizah :: cik siti :: cik ctdja

19. Cerita sikit blogger pertama yang korang tag
>suka berangan ngan novel cintun2 dia wohohoho =p

Oke siap!..hope this first n last time for me..aihh.. @_@

pink rulez

2010-11-22T08:16:00.000-08:00

p/s: pink wahaha...saba je lar~~ (mt.angsi)

nari-nari panko

2010-11-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

sesuai ama judulnya...
btw bete banget bosen.....
huuuuaaaaaaaaah
berapa centimeter atau bahkan kilometer menurut anda lebarnya mulut yang arusan menguap kebosanan.....

gak tau yang penting jangan dekat dekat nanti bisa ketarik masuk kedalam mulut yang menguap barusan....

namanya juga bosan ya nulisnya sembarangan....
tiap hari begini mulu ga berubah berubah, "apanya yang berubah?"
ga tau juga ga tau dan ga ngerti..
lagi ngapain?

(orang bosan kok ditanyain lagi ngapain ya pastinya ga ngapa ngapain)
kalo lagi ngungkap kebosanan disini...
apakah ada yang tau berapa lama
(menit, jam, hari, bahkan tahun) sampean pernah merasa bosan tanpa henti henti....

ga mari mari ..
maaf bosan bisa sampe 3 kali sehari ...kaya minum obat aja..
bosan pagi...
kalo sehari siang,
bosan malam...mau melancong lagi ngee~~

kalo pagi bosan banget bangun pagi,
huaaaaaaaaaah, awas!!!!!
jangan dekat dekat,
udah dingin semalem males tidur asik buat main internet, chatingan, utak atik blognya orang, wuah pokoknya jalan jalan di dunia internet yang katanya dunia maya itu...

semua kegiatan itu jadi bikin males bangun pagi ini...
pengenya tidur sampe entar siang....
tapi terpaksa lagi lagi harus bangun pagi buat pergi kerja....

kalo siang bosan banget ktemu ama orang orang yang sok tau dan sok ngatur di kerjaan...
apalagi kerjaanya itu itu aja...
waduuuuuuuuh pengenya jadi bos aja kalo gini enak bisa nyuruh nyuruh,
nyuruh anak buah bikin kopi, nyuruh sekertaris...

siang memang membosankan, enggak membosankan kalo jadi bos (kali yaaaa…)
bosan ah dari tadi nulis mulu jarinya cape udah mulai kriwul nih jari gara gara kecapean negtik.. apalagi mata rasanya mau copot.
yowes good bye entar lagi…. zzzzzzZzzzzzzzz~~

p/s: b05an b4n9et D3h

timeless

2010-11-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

i really don’t want to sound negative....
but i just can’t help it.....

i must be doing something wrong....
very wrong....
i think that i’m nice person hohoho :p :p :p

i treat other people well....perhaps...
i’m not good this relationship and even funny occasionally...
but nobody seems to be taking the bait....

i’ve been played and made a fool of so many times that when someone shows me some interest i’m afraid it’s a joke.....
that her not being serious....

that the minute i turn around her going to start laughing because she made a bet with her friends.....
because, really, why would anyone seriously want to come up to me~~

lalalalalala~~~~

2010-11-19T06:27:00.000-08:00

huwaaa........boring..watpe2...poyo time~~ hoho @_@........

one minute silence

2010-11-19T04:12:00.000-08:00

away for home

2010-11-18T00:53:00.000-08:00

i moved away for work right before...
it's hard to miss every day and when we're on the phone it's just a reminder that we can't get close enough but every time...
until the one where we must say good bye.....

ehhmm..
yah seperti biasa menjadi berbeda satu kali dan berharap segera menghilang semua ketidaknyamanan yang sempat datang...
tapi sepertinya malam ini tidak akan bisa tidur karena..
ya ito..
sesuatu hal ..
hhhmm..

i know we are bigger than this and though it is tough at times...

nampaknya sudah biasa dan memang selalu berusaha membiasakan diri dengan penyakit ini..
jadi sambil denger musik saja..
kira2 apa yang akan terjadi..???
hhhmm..

buying happiness

2010-11-11T08:10:00.001-08:00

when i read all these stories over and over again..its suck hoho.....
all these sad stories about sadness and tough life....
i can’t say i don’t want to be there.....

i’ve never even had a happiness.....
and you all have or have had someone meaningless....
so you know what it’s like.......

but i don’t...
so i don’t care if it doesn’t work out....
i just want to feel what it’s like to be in love once again, to have someone.....
therefore i almost wish to be where you all are.....

though i’m not saying you should feel good when someone breaks your heart....
i’m saying i would prefer getting broken than not feel love at all.....
everything is about heart... movies, books, songs, reality...

and i’ve never even felt it....
it feels like i’m outside, watching everyone else....
kalo dibilang kangen ya..ingin bertemu..begitu saja..

tapi tentunya ada syarat2 situasi tertentu yang kalo bisa terjadi supaya mendukung kenyamanan ito..hihihihhh..
lalu apa lagi ya..ngga tau...ah..
lumayan panjang itu tuh..
silakan dikomentari dengan semaumu.. terserah.. i have no idea…

redfox

2010-11-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

selalu percaya....
semua orang dilahirkan sebagai orang baik.......
salah satu keyakinan yang membuat teman-teman baik selalu was-was.....

namun hidup bukan negeri dongeng....
banyak tokoh antagonis di luar sana....
awalnya sih sempat syok bertemu dengan orang-orang seperti itu.....

namun lama-lama, biasa saja....
cerita tentang beberapa teman yang tidak baik pun sering terdengar di telinga......
termasuk tentang teman-teman yang ‘menusuk dari belakang’....

yang paling sering terjadi.....
biasanya teman-teman tipe ini bermuka dua....
di depan kita, semua tampak biasa saja bahkan terkesan ‘manis’....

Tapiiiii, kalau di belakang kita sukanya malah hobi ngomongin kita, bongkar aib-aib kita....

dan ternyata tidak sedikit orang-orang yang seperti itu...
mungkin karena kebiasaan, atau juga karena tak pernah diingatkan.....

yang kasihan jelas si korban yang kepercayaannya disalahgunakan ini....
aduh sinetron banget deh hoho..

mereka bahkan bisa dengan terang-terangan mengkritik sikap yang patut dan tidak patut lakukan.....

untuk mereka, orang-orang terbaik di kehidupan sy...
menyebut mereka : teman baik...

p/s: trimaksh byk nad bikinkan kad yg cute neh..nice~~ :]
(owh ya...teman2 redfox... tenggling, mungkey, boya,....manekah?? hoho.... :D)

cik mungkey

2010-11-08T08:52:00.001-08:00

kuching

2010-11-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

betah d kuching...

yaaaa…... begitulah…..

jawab singkat saat siapapun menanyakan pertanyaan di atas kepada.....
dibilang betah....

nyatanya masih sering homesick ngidam masakan rumah.....
dibilang tidak betah, nyatanya tidak terlalu kalut jauh dari rumah.......

jadi yaaa begitulah....
biasa saja....

dua bulan di utara membuat cukup banyak bercerita tentang xtvt setiap hari..…
makanan, tempat yang menarik, orang2nya hik2 :p ....

entah kenapa, adaptasi yang menurut paling susah lakukan adalah urusan lidah dan lambung.....
beberapa minggu ini sepertinya terjadi hujan sepanjang tahun....
hujan yang lama...

sore sampai sekitar malam sudah jadi rutinitas....
jalanan rumah yang normalnya macet pun semakin macet banjir lagi huk2... :,[''

b.u.b.u iv

2010-10-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

beautiful that it hurts

2010-10-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

it's hard to fabricate lies when you don't want to make someone sad.....

when you really really like them...but not in that way... you can't just blatantly lie to them and pretend you love them...they're too beautiful for that....

the thing is, they're also too beautiful to lie to... too beautiful for you to hurt because you don't want to hurt them...you don't want to make them cry, to ruin their beauty by making them feel pain...

the problem is...you can't not. you have to do one or the other......the pain...or the lies?
which is the best for them? Break their heart now.....or later...

later when they find out you never liked them like that. that when you meet them you had to try you're hardest not to be disgusted because.....

yes they were beautiful but they weren't who you wanted...
they were perfect but they just didn't have that special something....
you don't want them to feel like it was their fault. like they aren't perfect or beautiful...
you want them to know that it's you....

you're the one with the issue and you wish,
wish that you could love them......but you can't... and it's killing you....?

you don't want it to be like that. you want to love being meet by them. you want to lust after them. To give them your heart and soul.....but you simply just can't....
you're incapable of feeling like that and it sucks. They're incredibly beautiful so beautiful that it hurts....

and you can't hold back, you just have to tell them, you can't not.....
because you know, you know deep down that this is for the best.... that this is what you need to do and you do it. you don't want to and you despise yourself for it.....but you do it. y
you can't handle the pain that is shown upon this beautiful person so...

you leave but just before you go you say those five dreaded words.....it's not you,......... it's me.

been long distance

2010-10-20T02:18:00.000-07:00

i am thinking of going back home...

back home across the sea to where i’ve lived for the past 1 month hakeke....

i’m in north right now. i got into a interview and i had dreamt about going for almost six months here hoho.....

only i fell in love back home....

beautiful life is something i’ve been cautious of... you know this, because you were there when something hurting me around...

it had been coming for a while, but that night my world shattered. .you saved me...i lost myself in you quickly, you were everything i needed... you never pressured me, and you warm me in ways in months or... you knew where i was coming from, because you had done it to him...

money is not something i was looking for... i just needed an escape, but falling asleep.... we were never too serious, but we were each others. we needed each other to mend. And so we did..

it has been almost a year and a half since i could spend my every day with you...you left, and i went to discover the world hee.....somehow, we never stopped being each other’s...somewhere along the way, we fell in meaningless...

now, we hang in limbo. the way i need you never seems to fade, but destiny comes and goes like the wind...and then you fight with your heart and try to keep yourself away....

of course it isn’t easy, but we’ve always made it work. we’re both hanging on for the time in our lives where we end up in the same place. we both know it’s not going to be worth it...

p/s: kata ning "kerana cinta aku kembara"hehe~~

delima botak =]

2010-10-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

a famosa

2010-10-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

tg rhu

2010-10-14T08:33:00.001-07:00

the northern

2010-10-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

.sesali hidup ini eh.. bukanlah apa2 yang terjadi di dalamnya...

kata2 itu keluar karena benci dengan hidup ini secara keseluruhan.. marah pula orang2 yang berkeliaran dan diri sendiri.. .. yang membosankan..

i didn't believe from the beginning in continuous dreaming..
being abandoned in changing towns,

.. .. yah..mencoba untuk beradaptasi.. dan terus berpikir bahwa tidak ingin lagi merasakan.. biar hindari segala macam hal2 itu..

i can feel at the distance, those people who come and go..
even the noise goes down and disappears in a sigh....

p/s: air hangat, langkawi....

b.u.b.u III

2010-10-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

from alor staq with love

2010-10-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

from k.perlis with love

2010-10-04T23:42:00.000-07:00

from kL with love

2010-10-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

from penang with love

2010-09-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

from k.kinabalu with love

2010-09-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

tinggi lagi sayang sama kamo

2010-09-24T01:49:00.001-07:00

Tinggi tinggi Gunung Kinabalu,
Tinggi lagi sayang sama kamu,
Biru biru hujung Kinabalu,
Tengok dari jauh hati saya rindu.

Kinabalu dekat di Kundasang,
Banyak sayur bulih pilih pilih,
Apa guna pergi luar negeri,
Naik Kinabalu hati saya rindu.

Sumandak sumandak pun ramai menunggu,
Menari nari lenggang sumayau,
Sekali melihat melepak kulitnya,
Sayang jatuh cinta.

Sayang sayang sayang Kinabalu,
Kaamatan pesta bulan lima,
Sayang sayang kita pergi tamu,
Jalan Tamparuli hati saya rindu.
Sayang sayang kita pergi tamu,
Jalan Tamparuli hati saya rindu.

p/s: lagu tema sepanjang lokasi kk ngee.... :p

nyet nyet

2010-09-22T01:59:00.000-07:00

gumbira yah...lama koq nugguin pos nya..
semalam dapet bungkusan teman dr kl..
wah adiah idul fitri lumayan neh..

baju nyet2 ama sampin ngee..
meskipon ngak sempat sarungi sampin (salah fzh) pagi syawal..yg di order..
sbg ganti d adiahi bj yg cantik banget neh..

love mungkey! ;]

i have no words to describe what i fell what friendship all about...
however,
i fell the passion and kindness pulling out my soul...
thats been hidden somewhere deep within you...

p/s: maceh sgt fizah..hik2... :]

from kuching with love

2010-09-19T04:35:00.000-07:00

silent mode!

b.u.b.u II

2010-09-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

mm..mungkin judul seperti ini pernah tulis juga di sini huhu....

..ngga tau lupa ngga ingat entahlah..

tapi terinspirasi dari lirik lagu yang beberapa kali dengar...

berpikir tentang satu hal yang harapkan tapi merasa tak pantas untuk memiliki hati yang besa..cinta..ya.. cinta..ngeee~~

satu hal yang sangat harapkan bisa menghiasi diri...

menginginkan kembali wakto ito...

buli3 ngee..zaman kanak2 kayaknya~ :p

.. ingin memiliki ketawa besa..sebuah happy dulo2..

tapi saat tinggi berharap sebuah keraguan menghentak huk2..

..membuat sadar dan terjatuh dari angan2 ito..tidak pantas..

sejak saat itu ngga lama2 di kuching..

ngga jelas kenapa tapi ingin cepat pergi dari sini hurm..

..satu hari saja cukup..kesedihan selalu menemani..ehh..

life is not a choice even though we should choose most of the time..

i choose to follow my heart and my heart loves you very much...

i put my heart on you...i trust you to keep it even its take too long.....

ngga mau pergi..

ngga pernah mau terjadi yang semacam itu..ingin selalo.....

still i have, in my eyes..

still i have, forever~~

home alone

2010-09-16T01:39:00.000-07:00

yups… seperti judulnya...

nothing need to be regreted...
because all of this is my choice...
i mean, i don’t have enough money to traveling everywhere...

alone…
yups… about 5 minutes later i will be at damai beach....

asyiiiiikkk….!!! Bentar lagi liburan akhir tahun...
banyak yang senang pastinya, bisa berkumpul ma keluarga, teman, dan jalan2...
bagi yang merayakan makan enak dan perbaikan gizi tentunya di rumah huhu..

Oke… what next?
Ah… yeah… shut up...

happy eid:syu

2010-09-15T04:36:00.000-07:00

Pagi ini,bergegas menuju lapangan kantor mama and untuk sholat ied fitrilebaran di sana, PERTAMA kali tembat baru :]

Starting & finishing Ramadhanwith khutbah....

Pagi ini,sarapan kupat sayur & rendang lebaran bukan dengan keluarga, tapi bersama teman-teman...

menikmati sajian kek & segala benda telan hehehehe...

Pagi ini,dalam doa ied,semoga semua ibadah ramadhan kami di terima & di ridhai Allah SWT semoga kebahagiaan ini juga dirasakan seluruh muslim di penjuru bumi ramadhan berikutnya...

Amiiiiin…

p/s: trimaksh ya syu tok segalanya....

maaf ya asek kena buli hekekeke....

in the sky u always shining....

you got you show me the best buddies ever~~ :]

b.u.b.u

2010-09-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

i still in my dreams....

Usually your hands are delicately wrapped around my face....
Slowly you look each eyelid as if they were..

so precious they might break but each dream like this is terrifying...
they haunt me of a time when you thought i spun gold from light...
of those times when each message left on your was more poetic than the last...

it’s in reliving these memories that i realise that i can no longer remember a time before now that i have loved anyone more...?

i struggle to find the words to describe the cataclysmic...and....
heart rendering moments we shared...

where beneath lights you grasped my hands and warmed them and i just knew...
i knew that every person in this world deserved a moment like this....

a moment where you knew....
how to be truly loved without the whisper of a single word.....

love knows no boundaries and the knowing meaning most faithful of hearts.....

minal aidzin wal faidzin

2010-09-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

Barusan kita lewati lebaran yang amat meriah,
dan pastinya hape kita juga semeriah suasana hari raya idul fitri kan..?

pasti banyyyaakk banget yang ngirim sms lebaran ke hape,
saya juga ikut-ikutan tradisi seperti itu....

so today, i humbly say Minal Aidzin Wal Faidzin to all of my friends for all of wrong doings and something that might have offended you in the past directly or indirectly from this blog... :p

apalagi tradisi ini bagus dan semakin murah...
mau tahu kad dan sms yg buat sendiri.. seperti ini salah satunya:

Beli kecap di pasar legi..
Sekalian beli kepiting jantan..
Bila ada salahku nancep di hati..
Tolong sekali lagi dimaafkan..

Taqaballah Minna Wa Minkum..
happy Eid Mubarrak my beloved family and nice friends....
and we hope next year we’ll still be able to meet the holy month of Ramadhan,

Amin~~

p/s: bikin yg asli itu susah, jadi maaf kalo cuman satu.. hehe :]

once upon a time in the north

2010-09-07T13:30:00.001-07:00

kangen..???
apa itu kangen..??
dari mana itu kangen..???
kenapa orang2 pada kangen..???

hehehehh..once..someone asked me.."do you miss me..???"
lalu jawab saat itu..tidak.
dan memang saat itu tidak kangen dengan dia..
atau seseorang yang lain..

mungkin..hhmm..setelah dipikir2,,
muncul sebuah pertanyaan.."apakah punya rasa kangen..???"

mungkin inilah pertanyaan yang harusnya diberikan...dan jawabannya,,
mungkin memang tidak punya rasa kangen itu..jarang menelfon sibling..

contoh tiap kali berangkat dari utara ke kuching,, pada saat sudah nyape ke kch,, ngga telpon mereka..
entah kenapa tidak ingat atau tidak di ingat2 atau emang ngga peduli..

tapi itulah yang terjadi..seringkali orangtuaku yang telpon baru deh..
telpon balik..
itu pun telpon ngga lama2..palingan beberapa menit saja..
(jimat kadit kunun2 nya..skang kangen bener lor.. :[

cuman sekedar ngobrol kapan nyampe sudah makan ato belum dan lain2 lah semacamnya..yah.. begitulah..
entah sejak kapan tidak kangen..
apa memang sejak lahir,, atau dimulai beberapa tahun lalu..???

entah lah ngga inget lupa ngga ada niat untuk mencari tahu..
hhmmhh..
mungkin pada dasarnya memang tidak punya rasa kangen..

ataukah..sulit untuk kangen..??
atau..sedikit hal yang membuatku kangen..???
atau..???
apa sih..????.

begini saja...suatu hari kenal seseorang yg bererti..
dulunya masih muda dalam mencari keputusan koq...
pernah bertemu tapi kami pernah komunikasi2..skang sekian lama..

hancu hati sakit banget...it was painful, like nightmare to me...

tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi...
beberapa kali..
mm..entahlah..pada akhirnya,, beberapa lama setelah tidak ada lagi komunikasi diantara kami,,

pun berkata.."kangen..".waaaaaaaaaahawhawhawhawhaww..ternyata.. bisa juga ngomong begitu..atau.. mungkin lebih tepatnya..

nulis begitu..soalnya cuman berkata lewat mail.. e-mail..hhmm..
what should i say..kangen banget ama kamo...
begitolah kayak,yah udah...la..mau bbuka posa suda :]

rindu

2010-09-07T12:03:00.001-07:00

Hujan - Pagi Yang Gelap

Lebih tua dari ku
Harap sabar menunggu
Kepulangan mu ku tunggu
Bukan maksud ku mendiam
Tiada niat menyimpan dendam
Hakikatnya rindu yang mendalam
Jalan inikan membantu
Hari esok siapa yg tahu
Kata ibu dengar sahaja
Cerita hanya kita berdua

Pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang
Aku adik mu dan engkau abang
Ku amat merindui kan mu
Pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang
Aku adik mu dan engkau abang
Ingin ku ulang kemasa dulu

Tak akan putus hubungan kita
Tarik nafas lega kerna aku tak apa apa
Jalan inikan membantu
Hari esok siapa yg tahu
Kata ibu dengar sahaja
Cerita hanya kita berdua