Emm..Rainy day again...

This morning, when I woke up, started to think bout it 'Wanna go to class or not??' It was rain, I thought it will be stop but it seems not. 1 thing that I wont ever do before I went to class when it was rain, I wont bring umbrella he he...or rite a bus, So I ran through the rain and become a wet. After I reached class, I started thinking why I wanna came to class with this kinda whether? It will make things better if I stayed at room for rest. Cause now I am still a patient. huk2..

I don know whether when was the rain stop. But I more concern bout whom am I facing. Rather not to talk bout it cause it will makes wars I think. Me, Jaja & Shukriaa enjoyed much time today. While much of teacher finish up there lesson fast so that we chit chat around. The most unlucky thing was Arief attended the class, I ran through the rain cause of you but you din attended class bcoz he ges by bike. We talked bout much more and I realize much more.

Test coming but I din even start study....so not in the mood at all.. This attitude must not seen on a U student! But I am heartless, I din have that mood to start. OMG~ it shouldn't be. More stuff to suffer, more things to worry. It won end cause it were just to be start. Admit it! I am not strong enough! Be original but I must change...atoii..

All Around Memories

In memory of you..for years I have been painting your face, picturing and not seeing more over..disappear by time, writing you from my myth, that swept around me a girl dressed all in cream, veils attached to her fingertips. It was months ago since I last saw you, with laughing eyes walking into the streets. Your smiles flashed and clanged with mine, why...still felt u really far away even just the crossroad and the toss of your head made me smirk and cringe. I did not touch you, with my soiled hands,

itchy with the creases of fears....fears of guiltiness's...

Instead, I grasped my brush, and I painted you into my skin, careless of the scratching bristles that made my eyes sting and my tongue fight to scream. why must this happened to me? because my stupidity come out first. Now I am with you every day, seeing this acrylic painting staring back at me and smiling because you have to and I cannot see past your carefully groomed hair.

I read about you once, closing my eyes and feeling your words sweep and enclose, and I loved you then. Now I am faced with your silence, as the paint, so carefully applied, begins to crack and my hands are still, empty of varnish as I stand back and watch your mottled, unforgiving tears...

LET ME STAY ONCE MORE IN YOUR HEART

Endless Rain- X Japan

I'M WALKING IN THE RAIN
yuku ate mo naku kizutsuita karada nurashi
karamitsuku koori no zawameki
koroshi tsuzukete samayou itsu made mo
UNTIL I CAN FORGET YOUR LOVE

nemuri wa mayaku tohou ni kureta
kokoro o shizuka ni tokasu
mai agaru ai o odorasete
furueru karada o kioku no bara ni tsutsumu
I KEEP MY LOVE FOR YOU TO MYSELF

* ENDLESS RAIN, FALL ON MY HEART kokoro no kizu ni
LET ME FORGET ALL OF THE HATE, ALL OF THE SADNESS

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me
You're just an illusion...
When I'm awaken, my tears have dried in the sand of sleep
I'm a rose blooming in the desert

IT'S A DREAM, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
madoromi dakishimete

[* repeat]

I AWAKE FROM MY DREAM
I CAN'T FIND MY WAY WITHOUT YOU

[guitar solo]

THE DREAM IS OVER
koe ni naranai kotoba o kurikaeshite mo
takasugiru hai iro no kabe wasugi satta hi no
omoi o yume ni utsusu
UNTIL I CAN FORGET YOUR LOVE

[* repeat]

ENDLESS RAIN, LET ME STAY EVER MORE IN YOUR HEART
LET MY HEART TAKE IN YOUR TEARS, TAKE IN YOUR MEMORIES

* ENDLESS RAIN, FALL ON MY HEART kokoro no kizu ni
LET ME FORGET ALL OF THE HATE, ALL OF THE SADNESS

Undeniably "ENDLESS RAIN" is a great song!!!everytime i hear that sng it always made me cry..my heart torn apart. so very emotional song. with all the heeart and soul perfomed by x japan.how i wish i could see them in personal singing that song but its too late for me.
one of the greatest songs i've ever have listen to.
ven though I don't understand Japanese, I find the lyrics very touching, the tone of it. I would like to have a translation of the lyrics if anyone could provide. Thanks ALL!!!
http://z6.invisionfree.com/Muzikero
Emotions and love is put into this song and just by listening and watching the performance, you can tell this has heart and soul. all time hit around the world.. music as it should be i would never ever replace that song to anything else.About hide?my long lost love..i dedicated that song for my self...huhhuhuhu

cant sleep! 3 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind

And the exact truth is impossible to ascertain and in my opinion, no energy and time needs to be wasted on this.

I used to regret doing things, and doing them wrong. Now, I mostly regret not doing things. That regret drives me to take on every opportunity that I come across, but all those commitments are really starting to wear me down.

There is no changing the past, so I try not to let my past haunt me. I’ve often found the best way to deal with these issues is to allow myself to feel the regret fully, analyze the situation, determine what I should have done, rehearse the solution in my mind, regret things a bit more, then let it go.

If I’ve learned my lesson from my regret, then it has served its purpose and doesn’t have a purpose anymore.Maybe this method would work for me.I have very regrets, recently, I just let go of a huge one.

It’s very freeing to let go of regret – once you’ve learned the lesson i perhaps needed to learn. I really try to live life, to it’s fullest and take things as lessons.
My regrets, usually come from not acting on something or not listening to my inner voice. Mainly from not listening to myself.

I have learned from experience, not to open my mouth without listening to both sides… and as happens always, the versions from the others side and the “other” side were quite and significantly different – I got a distinct impression that some blatant lies were being let loose. All this is old hat for me, so I did not bother to counter or argue since I have always held that in matters such as these “The truth is always somewhere in between.”

If regrets and it’s something i can fix, work on or decide to let go, i will do it. It’s such a burden!

i really regrets it for my whole life.....

i can't stain it anymore, its killing me softly...

could i ever be apology...rather than get emotional

Some people shut down rather than get emotional. There's nothing wrong with that, that's just how your particular personality is. Lots of people become numb from events that might bring about a reaction such as crying... i was remain numb for long periods of time, then that could eventually present a problem as i would be stuffing your emotions and not dealing with them. But in general, if you are able to evaluate and put to rest the issues that come up for you in a non-emotional, practical way, then that's healthy. (and I bet more people wish they could be like that)

You don't have a problem? You are human and to be human is to feel. Through our lives we learn how to better cope with our emotions but sometimes things can get a little over whelming. I just have to have faith waaa..., appreciate what you do have and try to have a positive outlook on my future. One of the greatest things about life is that perhaps i can change things.
I am in nowhere for this moment, having the blues..guilty burden in me..

what made me like this?

when i see peoples around me, i have immediately compassion to myself, their thinking of being alternative, but it doesn’t bother me. i felt im a pity here, because i know there is almost no way back for me. But i get annoyed with this feeling my past, perhaps, i makes me feel so lonely and i remember immediately the hugeness of my former love sickness about not being with the person i desired for so long.

i think that’s why i hated it there so, i recognise so much the addiction to get intimate ,i feel so much loneliness, powerabuse, i thought all the time , want go out. Felt want to going back time and fix it what its wrong. Really miss the moment we laugh, joking, full around that peoples think we'r crazy kinda kid. Dont care must as long we happy n keep smiling.

so, i have the blues. and i know, it has to do with the work, i just came from this to prepare a project and a lot of ideas emerged in my mind, so it is incubation period, a period of loneliness, sadness, and taking care of myself…my studies not going well right now.

i had a very good sleep last night at Arief room, and we listened to nice records Daughtry i bought on the Bj, life is good to me…wish too

(non-words can i describe best apology accept really sorry even is not enough and useless at all, been rudeness ,careless, hurting, do bad thing and all kinds of sin that i has ever make to u guys, Little Turtle, Brave Fish, Happy Cow and u special one Sweet Cutie Sheep)

Happy Ending.....?? No hope, or love, or glory

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

I’ve always only been interested in happy endings. The problem is, I’ve never been willing to compromise in order to get there! A happy ending means that deep karmic knots have been untied, and a meaningful and authentic resolution has occurred. And happy endings in the romantic and normal dimension of life are some of the hardest to come by.

hanging out..but..

Did you have a nice relaxing weekend? Good for you - I am SO jealous!

On Friday night I got back from an seminar at Kulim. So damn boring.
I checked my messages and and rumate was apparently just silent then and still mad at me he he...
Off to Arief to going out. By it was 12:30pm.

Sunday morning bright and early, my friends agree to hanging together. Poor Fatirah was running a significant fever - so her got to stay at the room n well 4 of us hanging out to Queensbay, because at ther got Travel Fair, Amy want make the assignment related to tourist n so ever...n others got something own mind buying new cloths, so do i.,
In the past when I went out with people I often didn't have a lot of fun. I didn't really enjoy the company of the people I was supposedly hanging out with. I was physically with the group, but mentally I was on my own unhappy little island. I was too serious, touchy, and anal about things. I felt bored and agitated and usually left for home before everyone else, and I was glad to get out of there. Sound familiar?

When it comes to hanging out with my friends, one can be sure that it is going to be absolutely amusing and unlimited fun. Puri the one is so excited. The talks seem to go on forever and any silly topic can become a point of lengthy discussions. Ther make laugh all the time, funny..Be it the latest trend in jewelry, the latest gadgets, old classic movies, the cute strangers next door, work related pressures, there is no end to the list. In this stressful age, getting together with friends has become a luxury than a daily routine. Consider yourself lucky if you get to hang around with friends often...having fun and fullaround like kinda kids untill nite n went back around 8pm..
Hanging out one-on-one, or in a small group, with like minded people was easy, but I knew that in any other cases I crashed and burned. I slowly learned to loosen up and have more fun with all kinds of people. More accurately, you could say I acquired more realistic standards about what hanging out with people entailed, things I should have caught on to long ago but didn't due to my loner nature. Here are some traits that may facilitate you in hanging out with other people..

Here we are Sunday morning actually already afternoon before went thr- and Fatirah is still sick. Her has a fever which responds to med but returns as soon as they wear off, no significant blood issues, no problems eating or pooping. Very, very weird!hi hi ..onathers boring week as flowing away~~

Anyway, we shall see how her does...Get well soon!