Profile
Kitsune
Blog List
Wednesday
beautiful that it hurts
it's hard to fabricate lies when you don't want to make someone sad.....when you really really like them...but not in that way... you can't just blatantly lie to them and pretend you love them...they're too beautiful for that....
the thing is, they're also too beautiful to lie to... too beautiful for you to hurt because you don't want to hurt them...you don't want to make them cry, to ruin their beauty by making them feel pain...
the problem is...you can't not. you have to do one or the other......the pain...or the lies?
which is the best for them? Break their heart now.....or later...
later when they find out you never liked them like that. that when you meet them you had to try you're hardest not to be disgusted because.....
yes they were beautiful but they weren't who you wanted...
they were perfect but they just didn't have that special something....
you don't want them to feel like it was their fault. like they aren't perfect or beautiful...
you want them to know that it's you....
you're the one with the issue and you wish,
wish that you could love them......but you can't... and it's killing you....?
you don't want it to be like that. you want to love being meet by them. you want to lust after them. To give them your heart and soul.....but you simply just can't....
you're incapable of feeling like that and it sucks. They're incredibly beautiful so beautiful that it hurts....
and you can't hold back, you just have to tell them, you can't not.....
because you know, you know deep down that this is for the best.... that this is what you need to do and you do it. you don't want to and you despise yourself for it.....but you do it. y
you can't handle the pain that is shown upon this beautiful person so...
you leave but just before you go you say those five dreaded words.....it's not you,......... it's me.
been long distance
i am thinking of going back home... back home across the sea to where i’ve lived for the past 1 month hakeke....
i’m in north right now. i got into a interview and i had dreamt about going for almost six months here hoho.....
only i fell in love back home....
beautiful life is something i’ve been cautious of... you know this, because you were there when something hurting me around...
it had been coming for a while, but that night my world shattered. .you saved me...i lost myself in you quickly, you were everything i needed... you never pressured me, and you warm me in ways in months or... you knew where i was coming from, because you had done it to him...
money is not something i was looking for... i just needed an escape, but falling asleep.... we were never too serious, but we were each others. we needed each other to mend. And so we did..
it has been almost a year and a half since i could spend my every day with you...you left, and i went to discover the world hee.....somehow, we never stopped being each other’s...somewhere along the way, we fell in meaningless...
now, we hang in limbo. the way i need you never seems to fade, but destiny comes and goes like the wind...and then you fight with your heart and try to keep yourself away....
of course it isn’t easy, but we’ve always made it work. we’re both hanging on for the time in our lives where we end up in the same place. we both know it’s not going to be worth it...
p/s: kata ning "kerana cinta aku kembara"hehe~~
Saturday
Friday
Thursday
Monday
the northern
.sesali hidup ini eh.. bukanlah apa2 yang terjadi di dalamnya...kata2 itu keluar karena benci dengan hidup ini secara keseluruhan.. marah pula orang2 yang berkeliaran dan diri sendiri.. .. yang membosankan..
i didn't believe from the beginning in continuous dreaming.... .. yah..mencoba untuk beradaptasi.. dan terus berpikir bahwa tidak ingin lagi merasakan.. biar hindari segala macam hal2 itu..
being abandoned in changing towns,
i can feel at the distance, those people who come and go..
even the noise goes down and disappears in a sigh....
p/s: air hangat, langkawi....
