beautiful that it hurts

it's hard to fabricate lies when you don't want to make someone sad.....

when you really really like them...but not in that way... you can't just blatantly lie to them and pretend you love them...they're too beautiful for that....

the thing is, they're also too beautiful to lie to... too beautiful for you to hurt because you don't want to hurt them...you don't want to make them cry, to ruin their beauty by making them feel pain...

the problem is...you can't not. you have to do one or the other......the pain...or the lies?
which is the best for them? Break their heart now.....or later...

later when they find out you never liked them like that. that when you meet them you had to try you're hardest not to be disgusted because.....

yes they were beautiful but they weren't who you wanted...
they were perfect but they just didn't have that special something....
you don't want them to feel like it was their fault. like they aren't perfect or beautiful...
you want them to know that it's you....

you're the one with the issue and you wish,
wish that you could love them......but you can't... and it's killing you....?

you don't want it to be like that. you want to love being meet by them. you want to lust after them. To give them your heart and soul.....but you simply just can't....
you're incapable of feeling like that and it sucks. They're incredibly beautiful so beautiful that it hurts....

and you can't hold back, you just have to tell them, you can't not.....
because you know, you know deep down that this is for the best.... that this is what you need to do and you do it. you don't want to and you despise yourself for it.....but you do it. y
you can't handle the pain that is shown upon this beautiful person so...

you leave but just before you go you say those five dreaded words.....it's not you,......... it's me.