life is a journey

i'm writing...
which may or may not mean anything at all...
but honestly that is beside the point...
writing this is more for my sake,
and pretty much has less to do with receiving it and more about me writing it..
you see i am a not good at not dealing with things...

i'm sure any could see that,
i'm not fooling anyone so i'm not going to fool myself...
i push all the hurts and the scars..
and the less than lovely things into deep recesses in my mind to forget about...
that is until something small and insignificant arises that reminds me..
of whatever it is tucked away into those neat little boxes in my mind..

turning me into a complete mess once again...
i can never move forward because of this...
once said wanted to see me fly...
in order to do that i have to deal with all the damn that's weighing me down..
and keeping my feet from leaving the ground..
i have the chance to be with someone good...

someone who is genuine..
and has the time and patience to deal with a person like me...
someone who i believe i can open up to...
and not use whatever i say against me...
i've realized that i need to learn to love the things that are good for me,
and her might very well be one of those things...

so in order to not mess up this beautiful opportunity for happiness,
i need to deal with us...
here i go...
i do not know why i feel attached to you...
it's not like we were together very long...
and it's not like we were even together....
maybe it was the first meet with you..
perhaps it was riding on a motorcycle for the first time...
or walking through the darkness to the waterfall...
or scooping me up in your arms and that first talked..
or maybe, just maybe..
it was the fact that i did not feel afraid at all with of...
you spent that whole day with me...

and in the weeks to come i would memorize the sound of you breathing...
don’t give a damn bout your foolness and impossible dream..
makes me laugh everytime so much with you...

mainly because i knew that's not what you said...
it was probably just gibberish,
but it made me wonder if perhaps i would want you to tell me those words in the future...
i never thought that we would top that first date...
and for a while we didn't come close...

but that doesn't really matter.
and all i can do is accept that...
is to be able to look back on everything objectively...
and remember the things i learned about myself...
and the things i learned about people...
and life without feeling the pain that goes a long with these kinds of things...

so finally,
this is me moving on..acece.. :p
this is me wishing well in whatever you pursue...
this is me wishing joy and happiness~~