*Unrest SouL*

Dunno.. just feeling rather empty, dunno what to write as many things cross my mind and sadness in my heart still clouding me..
I had a rather heated argument with my sweety while...?. She meant it all well but I think her's not "listening" to me enough. Listening is not just sit there and listening, I mean truly listen to what I have to say...
I am in pain and need her supports , lots of it. I know he tried his best to help me out but... like many of friends , they aren't listening !!!
Advices is good but please, please... READ me first, where am I coming from ??? What do I mean by stuffs ?? why I said what I said last night...wut ever isn't long enough,

I am sorry if I was harsh to ya, but I am stuck at the moment and I need some light not someone who preach on me how to be good, I know all the stuffs you are saying, and other friends but that's not what I mean.. or want and I tried to tell ya..... but you too busy with your stucked up advices... if I want any advices I go see the my beloved friends or my Mom, I want someone who can listen to me as much I listen to ya... I don;t give advices unless you asked me to. Not everybody are like me ?? Why not ? I just need a great friend who can understand my sorrow, my pain , my worries... not someone who think that they are know the answers of the world...
How can I look up to someone who has not been there themself ?? I mean, how could people give advices so easely even if they are not doing it themself ??

How can I look up to that person as my guidance ??? Can you choose to believe? Something is either mentally acceptable or not. Even if a friend convinces me otherwise, now I have no choice but to accept. Where's the choice?Call me stuck up bitch but... I need someone whom I can asks questions and being able to enlighten me when I am stucked.... don't preach on me when u still doing sin yourself... if you wish to get better together with me I shall take your hands but not giving me advices and you still doing sins yourself..... *no specific person here pointed , ok?* just general writting.

Tears flowing down my cheeks each time memories coming through, I just can't help but feeling so guilty for whatever sins I had done...what a pathetic!

I just want to be forgiven...