Making Mistakes, finding myself, and more mistakes

Trying looking for fiera kittenz huhu.., I messed up....again. Don't want to get into exactly what I did but it wasn't good. I go about stuff completely backwards. I guess that's why I'm always confused and don't know whether I'm coming or going. Sigh....BE YOURSELF. Two words that always go in one ear and come out the other. When i meet someone new, and become friends with them, I tend to act swishy washy, nervous and confused in the beginning. Why can't I ever just be myself? Then I won't have to worry about chasing people away. I need to get it together.

God, please help me to learn how to have conversations with people without u offending them always having to seem right and others having to make it seem like im the only one who's perfect. People make mistakes and some people do change if they can Acknowledge their flaws and LEARN from them. It isn't cute when you're making the SAME mistakes over and over again like me. You can't stab someone 10times and then say it was an accident, or apologize and hope that all will go back to the way it was. It doesn't work that way. Sometimes, "Sorry" just isn't enough. But when there is nothing left to say....Sorry is the only thing that makes sense.

Truth is, I have insecurities and major trust issues which affect my reaction to EVERYTHING! When am I going to grow up??!!! I get carried away in the moment and before I know it, I have put my foot in my mouth AGAIN! It really is the truth that you have to THINK before you speak.

Think about how you make the person feel when you're talking to them. Yesterday, my sociology Dr. made a good point. He said "in order to judge whether a relationship is a good or bad one, next time a situation occurs when one person says something to the other, that person will either A) Assume their partner didn't mean to hurt them or B) Assume their partner had every right in hurting them. If you chose A, well then you have a good relationship with your friend, parent, spouse etc.

I want to start building better relationships with people. I know there's some good in me. I just have to find it. I will find it. But at what cost? At the cost of losing yet ANOTHER friend?? Atoi!!

what the crap this morning....

Everyday I wake up, I don't feel any happiness. I just wake up, and I feel sad, anxious, obsessed with what is wrong with me, always asking myself how this could happen to me? - racing thoughts. It’s a mad world out there.There are cat fights and dog fights.The only difference is that animal fights do not involve ego. And hence they can settle without much backlash. Not so easy with humans.

I wake up, get ready for class, go to class... but I don't feel any motivation, no mood do anything at all, I just 'go' to class, but I feel no happy or exciting emotions every morning I wake up.
My mind clears up somewhat in u, but then I go back hostel, feeling the same. And get even more depressed,damn it.

No celebration gives me any excitements, be hanging out, or vacation. I don't feel happy. Full of emptiness. And my brain is always occupied, am I going crazy? Because I have anxiety, bad depression, symptoms of depersonalisation, realisation and strange thoughts, are we real? Is this world real? Why am I doing things that I do? How do I 'see' everything around me? How is it possible? I feel panicky. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I get strange thoughts, are people real? And so on...


all seems to go when I keep my min occupied with class work and when I'm with friends, - what really helps me as well is riding on a bike when it's dark in the evening, I feel 'warmness' and I then find happiness. All the people going back home from work, the dark, cold evenings, you sit in the bus, with the lights on, it just makes me feel happy :)

but once I get back room, it all begins.

Life sucks...

When I'm at work I guess the distraction is good for me and gets my mind off of my thoughts. But trying to put on a "good happy face" all day does exhaust me and by the time I get hostel all I want to do is crawl into bed. If the door a knock, I don't even want to answer it!! - so I don't.
Perhaps I'm an over thinker - don't know if you do this too - but I always dwell on things that have happened or what I think will happen. Can't seem to shut things off in my mind, then anxiety sets in, then the deep sadness, etc.

I guess one step in the right direction though, is that you are at least posting your feelings and in some little way, this is a little bit of therapy. Just knowing that others care means alot.

al0nE iN tHe daRk looKING soMethiNg loSt PART 2

Her makes me smile, from the inside out...more than simple laughs..felt from deep within..this is a soul blend..teaing us together like we'r... are the next love trend feeling is so divine..intertwined with u and its just the little things u do turning an unsure day into a beautiful night into more than a bliss this innocent heart meet... is what I've always missed u crept in... and i felt u...but its more than mere physical attraction its a soul to soul.. cuz u help me to grow on a mental and spiritual.. level, you make me smile form my insides.. stirring up something that..i could have only dreamed.. but afraid to dream the prayer only my heart could have prayed..not afraid to be the some one who u see me to be cuz i feel so comfortable in you warming/loving company and I have to praise and thank God each and EVERY day for sending such a wonderful beautiful Queen my way cuz it was only Her grace that saw favor in me... to place a girl like u...in my life... u make me smile form my insides.. and this feeling,why it still strong? like it never touching at all,emm before it too late.. more than a feeling i can no longer hide it consumes me... and i just cant keep it to myself so i wont...

karen banget!!!

Kamu Kamulah Surgaku-dak cit!

tahukah kamu kuciumimu
di saat terlelap
tahukah kamu kudekap kamu
saat kamu bermimpi

tahukah kamu ya cuma kamu
pemilik hatiku
tahukah kamu hatiku ini
adalah hatimu

tahukah kamu di setiap tidurku
ku kagumi wajahmu
nanti kau kan tahu
nanti kau dengar bahwa aku begitu

reff:
kamu, kamu adalah surga yang ada
dalam hidupku dalam kenyataanku
kamu, aku adalah penghuni surga
ucapkan salam pada hidup dan mati

tahukah kamu saat kamu menangis
adalah air mata ku yang jatuh berlinang
tahukah kamu saat kamu tersakiti
adalah aku yang pertama terluka

tahukah kamu ya cuma aku
yang punya cinta untukmu
tahukah kamu ya cuma aku
yang rela mati untukmu

Rock group Dewa’s lead guitarist Ahmad Dhani feat The Rock Indonesia is featured in this song Kamu kamulah surgaku. The tunes of many Dewa songs, particularly “Aku Milikku”, which has a really fine opening, and ending, are a familiar sound in the Indonesia Matters bunker and it’s pleasing to see the group’s main man get some international attention, if not precisely for his music...waduh2..karen bangetnya!!!

ala...next week got test..

examz are bad for health..... ministry of education should take them off
as a medicine and surgery student i can grantee u that examz cause the following :
1) heart attacks , for those with heart deases ..
2) high blood preasure
3) and it will also take off all the glucose in ur body, and u'll lose it in the urine ...bla bla bla...

dont u agree we should never have an exam ?!! .. lol hihi.. ; )

May the force with u!

You don't know the power of the dark side...
ko, here's the set up.
i'm a member of the rebel alliance, and i've been captured by the empire. i am about to meet my doom... he he..
or, i'm at Queenbay and i'm cracking up because a darth is asking me if i want to "hold his light saber".
did i ever.

What can i make u big SMILE again?

As the last few months have gone by I have gone through so many emotions, I am sure everyone here has. There is one thing that I believe that can make any illness seem much easier to live with and that is knowing one is truly loved and cared for. There is not one human being on the face of this earth that does not want to be loved. It is precious. Life is precious. To be treated with kindness by our fellow girl is all any of us every truly want in life, at least this is what I believe. Materials things cannot comfort us when we are sad, they cannot wipe away the tears when we are afraid, they cannot make us laugh when we really need to laugh. Human beings need each other. On the days when we feel we cannot walk alone we come here and we ask please can someone help me walk this walk today? When we feel like the tears will never stop flowing we will come here and ask please can someone help me today dry up these tears, and the most wonderful thing about this it happens here. This site is what life is all about. When one is down another will help lift them up. Caring for others can help someone be well, it may not cure the illness but it makes life so wonderful knowing that along the way through the ups and downs this site will hold us all up. If you take care of a wilted flower you can make it bloom again with love, a lonely heart can feel alive again if you give it love. Thank you all of you for putting such a wonderful site together where we can all be stronger because we all truly care. What can i make u big SMILE again?

Emm..More on being non-judgmental.

I’ve been trying recently to reconcile being non-judgmental with my increasing conviction that we should condemn and exclude assholes. And with the recognition that some things just aren’t OK. My thoughts on that aren’t finished yet. It's still make me uncomfortable.

One possibility is that there are types of people who deserve no tolerance. I am done with my past. I am done with best friends who make this not right. I have had two bad run-ins with television news reporters, so they are skating on thin ice. One more bad encounter with a television news reporter and I am done with them too. (I should tell you about those. One time was sad and one time was ludicrous.) I’ve got nothing. I am also done with people who menace peoples on the Internets and assholes in general, although that isn’t a very finely tuned application.

The alternative concept is that there are realms for being non-judgmental. Passing judgments on voluntary behavior that violates gender or sex norms is a waste of thought. Anything that only hurts the agent gets a sympathetic listen from me. I’ll go a good long way with any experimentation from someone who generally has her act together. That’s as far as I’ve thought through.

I am also convinced that this exact form of non-judgmental tolerance is the key to adult mother-son friendships. Whenever someone says “my Mom is my best friend; I tyred talk to her every day and tell her everything”, I quiz her on this. So far I’ve gotten perfect correspondence. I fully believe that mother-son relationships are so fraught that any hint of criticism gets amplified out of proportion. Moms have to be non-judgmental at all times for sons to choose to confide in them. I don’t think that is fair to Moms (except the Moms for whom it comes naturally), but I think it is true....uH! hate this feeling!

what a jerk!

... because of my insecurities and emotions...
I'm in an madness and things were great, until i got too emotionally involved. Now i cant stop thinking about my past...what a jerk im!
I love her greatly, every second of my day, i think of her...and this is interfering with my personal life.
I'm in university and recently I've started having problems with her, basically coz I'm insecure and too emotional n will say things without thinking. My wrong..have a desire to achieve through force n be arrogant. I have been with her and haven't seen her for around 1 years now, and wont see her forever...now is too far away..
for the last years things were fine until now
i don't know what has gotten into me..this is the girl i wanna spend my whole life with, and now here i am throwing her away by caring too much about her...
does anyone know how to stop being insecure or emotional...
I've read tons of books and articles...nothings helping me!
my whole life is being affected with u...my bad!

learning by doing

it's like when you're in a relationship with someone and both of you click so perfectly that you'll always have huge fights and there will be tons of tears and screaming ... most of those fights are because you love the other person and can't just walk away like you would with anyone else ...if music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken and so die. that strain again, it had a dying fall. ho, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound that breathes upon a bank of violets, stealing and giving odour. enough, no more,this not so sweet now as it was before.o spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou that, notwithstanding thy capacity receive as the sea, naught enters there,of what validity and pitch so e’er,but falls into abatement and low price even in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy that it alone is high fantastical.

Walk alone tonight
i feel so cold inside
as i call out your name
for the last time
another picture frame
broken and thrown away
but the memory of you never fades

when your timing isnt right
you can feel it every time
from the words you couldnt say
to the stupid games we play
do we dare to cross that line
just to do it one more time
is it worth the pain to get lost again
if we know that its not right

hung up the phone with you
and from that moment i knew
things would never be the same
as they used to
remember when we used to lay
together in our bed all day
all i want is what we had
yesterday

when the timing isnt right
you can feel it every time
from the words you couldnt say
to the stupid games we play
do we dare to cross that line
just to do it one more time
is it worth the pain to get lost again
if we know that its not right

well if i could change just one thing
i know what id do
all i took for granit id make it up to you
these days i am living
with nothing left of you
just broken hearted empty and the memory of you

when the timing isnt right
you can feel it every time
from the words you couldnt say
to the stupid games we play
do we dare to cross that line
just to do it one more time
is it worth the pain to get lost again
if we know tht its not right

atoiiii.....going crazy, where are you my dear?

A smile. Something so simple and yet can make a patient feel 100 million times better than they did moments before. It may have been because they were lonely, afraid, or just in need of some reassurance. So, why are smiles so widely underused? Is it our patients responsibility to understand that we have no spare time, what can only be described as a mountain of paperwork or very little staff? The answer is a big fat NO!

I want you to believe me when I say that I am not expecting what i has done to smile ALL of the time – that would just be creepy and fake. But it is important for others to know that i aren't robots or walking freak, but human beings who think, dream, and love just like they do.
I hope you understand what I am trying to say? We all want a friendly face at the bedside when we are feeling vulnerable, even if we don't want to admit it. So, even if you are feeling stressed, overworked and undervalued – just smile! Biri2 taught me all this huk2.. :,(''

To hide the pain, just Smile To stop the frustration, Just smile Through the tears whelming up, Just smile The ground below is slipping, Just smile Did everything u can, Just smile Breaking all the shackles, Just smile Smile That's all....perhaps, my smile lost once...

Water rafting in Sungai Sedim, Kedah

Adventurous sports have always been my favorite past time. Other than water rafting and jungl tracking, and all campin stuff...

However, rafting is so much easier than wind surfing. It is very safe and no technical skills are needed. All you need is some energy for paddling. The rest is simply following instructions from the skipper...too tired really uh..

I went out about Sungai Sedim with frieands and lecture with is do learning program. Apparently, the place is popular for team building activities for workers from nearby Kulim High Tech Industrial Park. Before this, I have visited the place a couple of time simply for relaxing in the river and mostly i lke sea water. I was excited about the discovery because it means I don’t have to travel far for rafting anymore. Before this, the nearest rafting place for me was Sungai Betong, near Sri Aman at Sarawak.

The journey takes less than 50km via bus USM. White water rafting in Sungai Sedim is managed by Rapid Fire Adventure SDN. BHD. There are 2 routes to choose from. One is the full route (5-6 hours) and the other is short route (1 hour). We took the short route because the full route need to have at least 8-10 people.

Before we began our little adventure, we were briefed by the guides of few basic stuffs such as proper technique to hold the paddle and how to use it. We also had to go through a session of water confidence by leaping into the water from a rock which is more than 15 feet high.We went for tubing before going back. One thing is don’t under estimate tubing in Sungai Sedim because I got more bruises from tubing than from rafting. You need to wear life vest and helmet when tubing in Sungai Sedim. At that continue trip to thrill of Tree Top Walk. The thrill and excitement of walking some 30 metres above ground level into the treetops is a spectacular attraction though not for the faint-hearted as a peep down might make you a bit dizzy.

All time favourite bands-Samsons

The songs from Penantian Hidup album, Mighty To Save has been in my heart for the last two weeks.

Although i heard it many times on the CD, it only sorta jumped out at me when i saw the video in song Hey Gadis becouse the video clip was make in animation and it's really funny (it's remind me to some one, u should watch it). The song is written by Irfan Aulia (gitaris) of most the songs . When the video showed Luluh…. wow …. the chorus really jumped out at me.

Penantian Hidup Platinum Edition 2008

Samsons, Penantian Hidup Platinum Edition Albums
Some hits songs in this album is Seandainya, Jika aku harus bermimpi, Hening n Kisah tidak sempurna. Love it.! Karen banget om!!!

kittenz see u at the crossroads...perhaps

Where are you kittenz, wonder why i keep looking for you? Have you ever reached a part in your life, where there stands a crossroad of sorts with multiple paths leading, beckoning and taunting, to walk into the hazy path.

Have you ever felt like you were on track, determined and sure, only to have the ground pulled out beneath your feet, leaving you lost.

Have you ever wondered what its like, if only you had made that one tiny seemingly inconsequential decision, that could have changed what-was and what-could-have-been.

Can you make the choice, knowing you’d bring down ruin on what you have worked so hard for, and yet giving freedom to those to cared for.

Can you set free what you hold dear, with no expectations of rewards, giving your all, leaving you bereft, with no dreams of return.

I don’t regret my decisions, i do actually..my choice. I made a mistake, what done is done, hoping that I just might be right, taking a change, yet failing in perhaps overestimating your capabilities. The blame is mine, yet I can’t but help to hope, that you’d do okay. Maybe its better for you this way...but i don't really like it..uh...is because..

Am I emo? Perhaps. Should i have for second change for all troubles that i made, no ones know.

I go through everyday motions, hoping to feel, to know, to remember.

I feel lost akin to being adrift in a wide ocean, seeing no land in sight. A mere compass would give no peace of heart anymore. I want to remember the feel of solid ground, to breathe the fresh air, to see with clarity the colours surrounding me. The temptation of letting go, hoping perhaps to soar, after plunging into the deep dark unknowns.

Perhaps its time to look at things from a new perspective.

Forgive me, i was damn wrong. Shrugging off the past is more difficult than I expected.
Perhaps I was weaker than I thought.

I wonder who I am

I noticed I never write about my trips. Or my family. Or my friends. Or what I actually do when I’m out/in.

I don’t post all those pictures I had taken. I don’t write about events that I go for. I don’t write in complete sentences, usually leaving my readers even more clueless after the post. I’m sorry if I made anyone’s hair fall out due to frustration. But you really shouldn't’t stress over the little things. Like me.

I don’t update regularly. I don’t post pictures. I don’t write crap - much. Or even if i do, at least they’re in English i try i try to do best...my sister said my English suck hahaha...that true what. Not that I could write Chinese even if I wanted to. Or Tamil. Or hieroglyphs. Although that would be so cool..cewah...

I think a lot. But sometimes, I think to the point where I don’t know what I’m thinking.

I think I’m short hi hi..want like Europeans peoples,taller then you is enough, yet I do love my figure. You can call it vanity.
I think I’m charmingly annoying at times hahaha... Or perhaps merely annoying mostly...sometime,over reacting make people fedud huhu..
I think I’m such a genius that I used to fail maths. And science. Damn.HATE MATHS
I think I’m lucky sometimes. Especially when I actually manage to stay alive for an entire game in CS...lo like playing Resident Evil, miss console want playing this at home..
I think I’m cool. So cool I froze. kakaka...kidding...im act in matured all the time,so play full.always make Friend's getting hurt by me..Sorry.

Sometimes when I couldn't’t sleep, I wonder who I am? What makes me, me?

Good thing I’m so self obsessed, that no matter what happens, I’ll still love myself n biri2.

And then I wondered, do you know who you are?

Coming through

I did some stuff that was outside my usual boundaries this weekend and if I wanted to tell you about it, I’d have said what it was. But it was new for me and it generated a lot of thought, which meant I needed my friends to think with me and offer their perceptions. I knew immediately which friends I could talk to.

The friends I could talk to about this are the friends I can tell anything to and be completely sure of their reaction. These are my friends who pass no judgment, who approach all my thoughts and doings with loving acceptance. Those are the people I turn to, and therefore the people who know me best. They offer me judgment-less listening and know that I’ll return it.

I had to learn this no-judgment approach. For a long time, I thought there were right and wrong ways to do things, and that you could evaluate people’s actions against an external standard. I’ve abandoned that in a lot of realms. That just isn’t an approach that gets me what I want, which is deep and open relationships with people. When I realized how much I love receiving unconditional acceptance, I changed my base assumptions so that I can give it out. For my friends, who are sweet-natured and accomplished and generally of my worldview, I start with the assumption that anything they do is the right thing, considering their priorities and options. They have brought their lives this far to my general approval; they wouldn’t have come to a wrong decision. Faced with what looks like a bad choice, I immediately look for a cause that would make it the perfectly reasonable thing to do. It is a loving and constant conviction that your people get the benefit of doubt.

It is formulaic even. You turn to your girl friend, or Chris, if you’re lucky enough to know him, and you say “I tried heroin this weekend! I think I LIKE it.” Your girl friend blinks in surprise a couple times and says something noncommittal and reassuring while she processes it: “Oh honey. You were so brave to try something new.” Pause. Then, while she is patting your arm and breathing short breaths, she thinks hard. What, given everything she knows about you and within the constraints of well-meant behavior, could explain this? That may be a very small intersection or even a null set, so she works harder. She may ask for more information to make it make sense. She remembers the time when she was tempted by something similar and explores that out loud, saying to you what you need to hear. We are alike; we feel similar things; I understand; there were reasons; people do that and you did it; you did your best; I would have done that in your place; I would have wanted to do that in your place; good people can act that way; you were brave to tell me, my sweet good friend; I still love who you are; I always love who you are.

That is, frankly, it. That is pretty much all I am willing to tolerate from my closest friends. A hint of less or disapproval means that person does not get my confidences next time. Friends who don’t offer that may get access to lots of me, but not my scared or confused or ashamed parts, so not my most interesting parts. There is a time, later, after the loving acceptance, when you can reintroduce critical thought, starting again from the baseline that your friends are good people who do their best. “Hon, did you like how that turned out? Were you kind to yourself when you did that? Have you had different ideas since?”

Sometimes any sort of reason fails. What your friend did was beyond the pale, more hurtful than you can put together a generous story for. Then you get two choices. You can simply be loyal, on faith. You love your friend, including all she does. Or you can stop being friends. This is actually a good test for me. If finding empathy and loving acceptance for someone is a consistent struggle, that means I shouldn’t be a close friend to that person.

I suspect some of you will have a very hard time with this concept. But there IS right and wrong and people DO dumb shit for bad reasons and I have to live by the TRUTH, you protest. To which I say, some external version of truth is not what I want when I’m struggling. I want a haven and a gentle listener and the sure knowledge that my friends will apply their tremendous focus to finding the softest path open to me. I will go to the people who offer me that. You can have your judgment or you can have my confidences and trust and gratitude and deepest friendship.

And then, I'm a hypocrite again!

People on this other blog are all "Well, yeah, but does she seem DESPERATE?". And I don't think so. I mean, let's walk through it.

I meet a guy, and walking up to him, I give him a good once over. Just the basics, frame size, health, vigor. I happen to notice things like glasses or a limp, just little genetic pointers like that. But who can tell what the other person notices? Then I check out his car. Two doors? Four doors? Four doors is easier for car seats. But I don't say anything, so how would he even know what I'm thinking? He probably thinks I just like cars.

Then we hang out, wherever we are. And I have manners, so if a BABY in a stroller goes by, I just excuse myself politely before I go over to look at the BABY. It isn't like I just run away. And I can maintain eye contact with a guy if there's a BABY in the room. Or regain eye contact. Whatever. And we, like, talk. We talk about all sorts of things. Like his job, and whether it has good paternity leave. Does he like his job? Would he leave it for one with more flextime? OK. Whatever. I can work with that. Or we talk about family. Family is very important, and did I mention my beautiful nephews? They're perfect, just so cute and perfect. Maybe I tell a funny little story about a fit my nephew threw, but how he was so adorable anyway. That's a part of life, so why shouldn't we talk about it? I would never ask a guy's age or experiences with children before dinner; I really think we should eat first and get to know each other a little. We talk about our friends, who we spend time with. So it just, you know, comes up that all my friends are married and have young children. What? I shouldn't talk about my friends? It is only the truth. If we both like to work out, we can talk about how very important it is to stay fit and healthy and flexible and active (so your pregnancy is easier, but I don't SAY that), so you have lots of energy for whatever might happen in the next year that requires a lot of energy. It's not like I mention the vitamins.

And then the date is over, so I just pull out my datebook. It is good to check on a guy's plans, like for our next date, or to see if he has anything big happening for the rest of the year. Long trips or something. And then the kids kiss, and it isn't like I put his hand on my stomach or anything. So I think it is totally chill and that you guys should stop worrying about how my dates go when you are far away through the internets and can't even tell what I am really like. Yeah.

With my youngest brother~

My brother FirRul is a seriously funny guy. For instance, he wrote a piece in the North Shore News the other day that managed to capture the business by his own. Anyways, kudos to my bro for finding a way to get paid to entertaining stuff. Emmm....Bad boy bad boy what you gonna do right now? Hope u will always be happy and rise up after the disaster he he...

Visit Melaka

The pretty nice memory with university mate have trip to eyes one Malaysia,Melaka few a week ago. Actually, the Eye on Malaysia is 60 metre tall portable Ferris wheel installation at Melaka River, Malaysia. The wheel allows visitors to experience a 360-degree panoramic view of Melaka City and over 20 kilometers of its surroundings including whole Melaka area during a 12-minute ride.

Don't believe ....

Don't believe because someone said it to you. Don't believe because its a generally held belief. Don't believe because it is written in books. Don't believe because it is of divine origin. Don't believe because someone else believes it. Believe only what you see, what you test and judge to be true.

p/s:Fox playing around with sheep hikhik~~

Love to travel weeee~~

Even though there are offers from both of our local airlines. You see the fares are cheap in the advert but once you go online to check, voila its super duper expensive horrrr with the fuel surcharge & taxes. I dislike going to tr avel fairs because it gives me a big headachehope i go home by bus hehe.... The local travel agents promote ground packages mostly. So you have to check the airfares first then add up the ground arrangements. Of course they do have those all inclusive packages but those are usually group tours on fixed dates. This means less flexibility. Although they maybe cheaper, its not so flexible as the ones that you arrange on your own .. the free & easy type.

I hope that i can travel to Japan weee... Bali and medan with fiera sound nice huhu....maybe a much easier target but the rest is kinda difficult due to the cost involved. With Malaysia Airlines, the airfare is no longer that cheap for international and there is none for domestic now just depaent on to Airasia... The taxes being most often the killer. Hmmmppphhhh....rite most popular public bus lor..

jerk hehe~~

haiya this mornink i’ve got an email from Evil Bunny from Happepill.. this mail state that Evil Bunny made a new cartoon.. yeah A NEW CARTOON!!! but the sad news is this cartoon for a moment only available for members… but dun worry yet.. below is the contain of the mail i’ve got… dun believe it? believe lorrr it’s true…. hoho....

100 Ways to Cope with Stress: Try it!! ^_^

Get up 15 minutes earlier
Prepare for the morning the night before
Avoid tight fitting clothes
Avoid relying on chemical aids
Set appointments ahead
Don't rely on your memory ... write it down
Practice preventive maintenance
Make duplicate keys
Say "no" more often
Set priorities in your life
Avoid negative people
Use time wisely
Simplify meal times
Always make copies of important papers
Anticipate your needs
Repair anything that doesn't work properly
Ask for help with the jobs you dislike
Break large tasks into bite size portions
Look at problems as challenges
Look at challenges differently
Unclutter your life
Smile
Be prepared for rain
Tickle a baby
Pet a friendly pet
Don't know all the answers
Look for a silver lining
Say something nice to someone
Teach a kid to fly a kite
Walk in the rain
Schedule play time into every day
Take a bubble bath
Be aware of the decisions you make
Believe in yourself
Stop saying negative things to yourself
Visualize yourself winning
Develop your sense of humor
Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better today
Have goals for yourself
Say "hello" to a stranger
Ask a friend for a hug
Look up at the stars
Practice breathing slowly
Learn to whistle a tune
Read a poem
Listen to a symphony
Watch a ballet
Read a story curled up in bed
Do a brand new thing
Stop a bad habit
Buy yourself a flower
Take time to small the flowers
Find support from others
Do it today
Work at being cheerful and optimistic
Put safety first
Do everything in moderation
Pay attention to your appearance
Strive for Excellence NOT perfection
Stretch your limits a little each day
Look at a work of art
Maintain your weight
Plant a tree
Feed the birds
Practice grace under pressure
Stand up and stretch
Always have a plan "B"
Memorize a joke
Be responsible for your feelings
Learn to meet your own needs
Become a better listener
Know your limitations and let others know them, too
Tell someone to have a good day in pig Latin
Throw a paper airplane
Exercise every day
Learn the words to a new song
Get to work early
Clean out one closet
Play patty cake with a toddler
Go on a picnic
Take a different route to work
Leave work early (with permission)
Put air freshener in your car
Watch a movie and eat popcorn
Write a note to a far away friend
Go to a ball game and scream
Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
Recognize the importance of unconditional love
Remember that stress is an attitude
Keep a journal
Practice a monster smile
Remember you always have options
Have a support network of people, places and things
Quit trying to fix other people
Get enough sleep
Talk less and listen more
Freely praise other people
Call ur mun siblings
Love pets
Find hobby that u like to do

Relax, take each day at a time...you have the rest of your life to live!

I am by your side yuy

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours. (love this song ermm...)

Ong Bak 2

I really DAMN like this movies becouse if time watch it i feel like tony jaa hek2.. The action will incorporate khon, the sacred Thai masked dance. The title roughly translates to "venomous boy" and involves a character whose dark side is dormant until he's transformed by the gracious power of khon dance. Tony Jaa's character was rescued in the jungle by a group of martial artists of various styles and trained to unify these different styles of martial arts. Sequel to the infamous Ong Bak, the movie also features again rising famous martial arts actor Tony Jaa(Ong Bak, Tom Yum Goong wahaha my fevourate movies). This time Tony Jaa even directs this movie, which is one of the biggest and most expensive movies ever made in Thailand. Will Ong Bak 2 do better than the first movie? Featuring quite a number of different martial arts, the sequel promises non-stop martial arts action that will blow you away. Go GO~~tOny

Sail to Langkawi~~

Choosing a targets for the holidays and spent my holiday time,was twise is visiting me since last chinese new year. Was not that easy, I’ve been to Pulau Perhentian the week before, and thank god the flights to Bali where quite expensive cant follow my rumate (elsewhere we could have ended up in a resort in the immediate vicinity of the bombing, which Ben would have recommended emmm...). So it was Langkawi once again. But the Island is a decent place to have some relaxed party. So we spent most of the daytime chilling at the beach and the evening eating and having some drinks at the reggae bar( drank coke lol) – which has shifted it’s place to another location, but still offers the same selection of cheap place for MENU, and the same band. There are no really special incidents to write about. You can see a selection of images here.

I have just returned from a weekend getaway from Langkawi 3 weeks' ago. Apart from spending time alone, i managed to squeeze in some time to look at venues for sort time vacation (more about that once things are more firmed). Langkawi change alots the last i goes thre last year for raya. (i got step family there hehe..)

I'm a n0Body boRed liKe hELL

Have I mentioned that I have a yarn addiction problem? I do. I’m trying to control it now by not purchasing anything I don’t have a specific pattern/project for already and by figuring out what to do with the stash I do have....perhaps...i got one

The whole knitting/yarn hahaha..... thing is still a bit weird to me,i do painting... Usually by now I’ve given up on whatever my newly acquired hobby is and moved on to something else. Examples, you say?

* Learning to play the guitar went poorly hahaha my frieand next door tryed to hard teach me playing guitar..but...always get wrong..then give up lol~. I had the guitar, I had the “teach yourself” book, I did not have the time.
* Scrapbooking? Well, still something I do once in a while, but I’m less into scrapbooking my pictures now and more into scrapbooking themes or events. The current plan is to take all my old concert tickets and put them in a book together. The vision in my head is very cool, I hope it looks that good when it’s done.
* Sewing? When I bought material to make cloths? Never made one. My mom good at sewing becouse she open tailor shop heh..I got stuck on laying out the pattern and once I figured that out, I never got any further. I would actually like to complete at least one of the my t-shirt, if only Riley wouldn’t bark at the sewing machine…
* Other crafty things I learned from my mom? I lost interest in a matter of months, if not weeks.

So, the fact that I’m still drawing over. The only other things that have kept my attention this long are books and school. I like learning the new skill's miss home too,want to do cooking..i can make all kind dishes, making something that I can happy, wear, and being able to make things for people (although I’m just getting into that part of it now). I think it helps that I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on some of my completed projects, too. When you make something cool, it’s a sense of accomplishment. When other people comment on your cool item, it makes you feel good.


p/s: i like art, drawing make me happy~~