could i ever be apology...rather than get emotional

Some people shut down rather than get emotional. There's nothing wrong with that, that's just how your particular personality is. Lots of people become numb from events that might bring about a reaction such as crying... i was remain numb for long periods of time, then that could eventually present a problem as i would be stuffing your emotions and not dealing with them. But in general, if you are able to evaluate and put to rest the issues that come up for you in a non-emotional, practical way, then that's healthy. (and I bet more people wish they could be like that)

You don't have a problem? You are human and to be human is to feel. Through our lives we learn how to better cope with our emotions but sometimes things can get a little over whelming. I just have to have faith waaa..., appreciate what you do have and try to have a positive outlook on my future. One of the greatest things about life is that perhaps i can change things.
I am in nowhere for this moment, having the blues..guilty burden in me..

what made me like this?

when i see peoples around me, i have immediately compassion to myself, their thinking of being alternative, but it doesn’t bother me. i felt im a pity here, because i know there is almost no way back for me. But i get annoyed with this feeling my past, perhaps, i makes me feel so lonely and i remember immediately the hugeness of my former love sickness about not being with the person i desired for so long.

i think that’s why i hated it there so, i recognise so much the addiction to get intimate ,i feel so much loneliness, powerabuse, i thought all the time , want go out. Felt want to going back time and fix it what its wrong. Really miss the moment we laugh, joking, full around that peoples think we'r crazy kinda kid. Dont care must as long we happy n keep smiling.

so, i have the blues. and i know, it has to do with the work, i just came from this to prepare a project and a lot of ideas emerged in my mind, so it is incubation period, a period of loneliness, sadness, and taking care of myself…my studies not going well right now.

i had a very good sleep last night at Arief room, and we listened to nice records Daughtry i bought on the Bj, life is good to me…wish too

(non-words can i describe best apology accept really sorry even is not enough and useless at all, been rudeness ,careless, hurting, do bad thing and all kinds of sin that i has ever make to u guys, Little Turtle, Brave Fish, Happy Cow and u special one Sweet Cutie Sheep)